how do i get my partner to put my child in her bed

Lisa - posted on 05/29/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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my partner has it in his head that he needs something to cuddle to fall asleep and as i work to midnight he puts my daughter in bed with him instead of her own bed then when i get home i have to move her and she wakes up, how do i convince him to put her into her bed?

13 Comments

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Candi - posted on 06/20/2009

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Quoting Heather:



Quoting candi:




Quoting Heather:





Quoting Esther:

I have to be honest with you - reading that gave me the creeps. It feels very inappropriate to me. I hope I'm reading too much into it, but it left me feeling a little queasy. I really don't want to offend you and I clearly don't know you or your partner but I felt I should say something.










This really didn't sound like a very nice comment to me. I don't think anyone wants to be told that their partner is being "creepy" with their daughter, especially when they are asking an innocent question about a pretty common situation. I don't know about you but as I child I crawled in between my parents after a scary nightmare and there was nothing "creepy" about it. I am sure this person is assuming the absolute worst case scenerio when it is innocent father daughter bonding, but he really should make sure she sleeps in her own bed. The sooner he breaks her of this habit the better, it will get harder the longer he lets it go on. Most likely he doesn't have the heart to look at her sad little face when she wants to cuddle with her daddy, so he let's you deal with it. Maybe you can explain to him that parents have to stick together and back each others rules and decisions, otherwise he will be surprised to find how easily they can "divide and conquer" and at a very young age! If he is undermining your sleep in your own bed rule, then she will be going to him every time mommy says no hoping daddy will say yes.












 








 








 nothing for nothing, dont post something if you dont expect to hear something not so nice, people are being honest, and they key word that was writen she works nights  and he need something to cuddle with.. that send red flags all over my head, most kids are sexuly abused by someone they know, who people trust and never think would ever do something to harm anyone. if my partner told me he need to cuddle with something at night and has to have my daughter sleep next to him, need his head check, and im not tring to be nasty, but i know way to may girls who were abuse .. and their will be many more to come .. sad to say , but we as parent need to try to protect them as much as we can, ..










Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I am mearly suggesting that we all express them in a considerate manner. This community is supposed to be here to "help" and "support" other moms, not a tool to post hurtful or insulting comments about one another or their loved ones. I personally seriously doubt that this mother would post this question if she truly felt there was a case of child molestation going on between her partner and her baby girl. I think she asked an innocent question (although a little poorly worded) hoping for some helpful advice and I imagine she is probably pretty hurt and embarassed by these assumptions, and she did come back once already stating that this was an incorrect assumption. Just because she posted a question doesn't mean that it is acceptable behavior to belittle her or her loved ones publicly over the internet.






none of us are tring to be hurtful or insulting at all, but this sound the same as many other stories that i heard of from, friends of mine, and were just being honest, and sometimes being honest isn't being nice, if i post something i hope some one would be honest with me, even if it comes arcoss mean oe hurtful, there are alot of people who are out  their who are in denial of what really goes on. and i hope i'm wrong with this, but i'm not going to beat around the bush like many other people do,

Becky - posted on 06/18/2009

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Hi all - In my opinion, there are not a lot of facts here, like, how old is the child, is the partner "the father"? I don't think "partner" necessarily means not the parent (in my experience). Also, from what it seems it sounds like more of an issue to discuss with the daughter than the partner if she is the one getting into bed with him.

Heather - posted on 06/17/2009

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Quoting candi:



Quoting Heather:




Quoting Esther:

I have to be honest with you - reading that gave me the creeps. It feels very inappropriate to me. I hope I'm reading too much into it, but it left me feeling a little queasy. I really don't want to offend you and I clearly don't know you or your partner but I felt I should say something.








This really didn't sound like a very nice comment to me. I don't think anyone wants to be told that their partner is being "creepy" with their daughter, especially when they are asking an innocent question about a pretty common situation. I don't know about you but as I child I crawled in between my parents after a scary nightmare and there was nothing "creepy" about it. I am sure this person is assuming the absolute worst case scenerio when it is innocent father daughter bonding, but he really should make sure she sleeps in her own bed. The sooner he breaks her of this habit the better, it will get harder the longer he lets it go on. Most likely he doesn't have the heart to look at her sad little face when she wants to cuddle with her daddy, so he let's you deal with it. Maybe you can explain to him that parents have to stick together and back each others rules and decisions, otherwise he will be surprised to find how easily they can "divide and conquer" and at a very young age! If he is undermining your sleep in your own bed rule, then she will be going to him every time mommy says no hoping daddy will say yes.









 






 






 nothing for nothing, dont post something if you dont expect to hear something not so nice, people are being honest, and they key word that was writen she works nights  and he need something to cuddle with.. that send red flags all over my head, most kids are sexuly abused by someone they know, who people trust and never think would ever do something to harm anyone. if my partner told me he need to cuddle with something at night and has to have my daughter sleep next to him, need his head check, and im not tring to be nasty, but i know way to may girls who were abuse .. and their will be many more to come .. sad to say , but we as parent need to try to protect them as much as we can, ..






Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I am mearly suggesting that we all express them in a considerate manner. This community is supposed to be here to "help" and "support" other moms, not a tool to post hurtful or insulting comments about one another or their loved ones. I personally seriously doubt that this mother would post this question if she truly felt there was a case of child molestation going on between her partner and her baby girl. I think she asked an innocent question (although a little poorly worded) hoping for some helpful advice and I imagine she is probably pretty hurt and embarassed by these assumptions, and she did come back once already stating that this was an incorrect assumption. Just because she posted a question doesn't mean that it is acceptable behavior to belittle her or her loved ones publicly over the internet.

Candi - posted on 06/14/2009

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Quoting Heather:



Quoting Esther:

I have to be honest with you - reading that gave me the creeps. It feels very inappropriate to me. I hope I'm reading too much into it, but it left me feeling a little queasy. I really don't want to offend you and I clearly don't know you or your partner but I felt I should say something.






This really didn't sound like a very nice comment to me. I don't think anyone wants to be told that their partner is being "creepy" with their daughter, especially when they are asking an innocent question about a pretty common situation. I don't know about you but as I child I crawled in between my parents after a scary nightmare and there was nothing "creepy" about it. I am sure this person is assuming the absolute worst case scenerio when it is innocent father daughter bonding, but he really should make sure she sleeps in her own bed. The sooner he breaks her of this habit the better, it will get harder the longer he lets it go on. Most likely he doesn't have the heart to look at her sad little face when she wants to cuddle with her daddy, so he let's you deal with it. Maybe you can explain to him that parents have to stick together and back each others rules and decisions, otherwise he will be surprised to find how easily they can "divide and conquer" and at a very young age! If he is undermining your sleep in your own bed rule, then she will be going to him every time mommy says no hoping daddy will say yes.





 



 



 nothing for nothing, dont post something if you dont expect to hear something not so nice, people are being honest, and they key word that was writen she works nights  and he need something to cuddle with.. that send red flags all over my head, most kids are sexuly abused by someone they know, who people trust and never think would ever do something to harm anyone. if my partner told me he need to cuddle with something at night and has to have my daughter sleep next to him, need his head check, and im not tring to be nasty, but i know way to may girls who were abuse .. and their will be many more to come .. sad to say , but we as parent need to try to protect them as much as we can, ..

Candi - posted on 06/14/2009

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im sorry , but that sounds sick, very sick, and i would not have that go in my house, i dont live with my kids father, and im with a someone else and my kids try to come in to bed with me after a nightmare or if they cant sleep , he will let them stay for a couple of mins and even then he will get out of bed and come to carry the child in to their room, he also always make sure he is dress at all time while he is in bed b/c we never know when they do wake up, but i'm sorry you need to look in to that a little more, read between the lines,

Esther - posted on 06/12/2009

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Quoting Heather:




Quoting Esther:

I have to be honest with you - reading that gave me the creeps. It feels very inappropriate to me. I hope I'm reading too much into it, but it left me feeling a little queasy. I really don't want to offend you and I clearly don't know you or your partner but I felt I should say something.








This really didn't sound like a very nice comment to me. I don't think anyone wants to be told that their partner is being "creepy" with their daughter, especially when they are asking an innocent question about a pretty common situation. I don't know about you but as I child I crawled in between my parents after a scary nightmare and there was nothing "creepy" about it. I am sure this person is assuming the absolute worst case scenerio when it is innocent father daughter bonding, but he really should make sure she sleeps in her own bed. The sooner he breaks her of this habit the better, it will get harder the longer he lets it go on. Most likely he doesn't have the heart to look at her sad little face when she wants to cuddle with her daddy, so he let's you deal with it. Maybe you can explain to him that parents have to stick together and back each others rules and decisions, otherwise he will be surprised to find how easily they can "divide and conquer" and at a very young age! If he is undermining your sleep in your own bed rule, then she will be going to him every time mommy says no hoping daddy will say yes.







Heather - I really didn't mean to be mean but here's why I said what I said. First of all, I'm getting the impression that this is not the little girl's father and second the original post said that it wasn't the baby who wants to cuddle it's the partner who feels a need to have someone to cuddle with. I can't help that it made me feel a little queasy and I asked several other moms to read the post and tell me what they thought and they all had the same reaction so I felt I just had to say something, that's all. I'm glad though that Lisa told me I was way off base and that her partner is totally harmless. I also agree with everything you wrote in your post about backing eachothers rules up and it being harder to break a habit the longer it goes on. Again, I didn't mean to offend.

Heather - posted on 06/12/2009

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Quoting Esther:

I have to be honest with you - reading that gave me the creeps. It feels very inappropriate to me. I hope I'm reading too much into it, but it left me feeling a little queasy. I really don't want to offend you and I clearly don't know you or your partner but I felt I should say something.



This really didn't sound like a very nice comment to me. I don't think anyone wants to be told that their partner is being "creepy" with their daughter, especially when they are asking an innocent question about a pretty common situation. I don't know about you but as I child I crawled in between my parents after a scary nightmare and there was nothing "creepy" about it. I am sure this person is assuming the absolute worst case scenerio when it is innocent father daughter bonding, but he really should make sure she sleeps in her own bed. The sooner he breaks her of this habit the better, it will get harder the longer he lets it go on. Most likely he doesn't have the heart to look at her sad little face when she wants to cuddle with her daddy, so he let's you deal with it. Maybe you can explain to him that parents have to stick together and back each others rules and decisions, otherwise he will be surprised to find how easily they can "divide and conquer" and at a very young age! If he is undermining your sleep in your own bed rule, then she will be going to him every time mommy says no hoping daddy will say yes.

Lisa - posted on 06/12/2009

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its ok hes pretty harmless but i tried to get him to cuddle a pillow but then i have the problem of trying to get the pillow off him when i want to sleep..

Esther - posted on 06/01/2009

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I have to be honest with you - reading that gave me the creeps. It feels very inappropriate to me. I hope I'm reading too much into it, but it left me feeling a little queasy. I really don't want to offend you and I clearly don't know you or your partner but I felt I should say something.

Lisa - posted on 06/01/2009

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yeah tried that :-( he says he falls asleep before her and she just comes in and gets into bed with him....

Jessica - posted on 05/29/2009

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Tell him its better for her to be in her own bed at night so you don't wake her up when you come home. Make it all about her and what is in her best interest, then give a pillow and tell him it's just as cuddly.

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