How do you ever get over the guilt of being a working mum and missing out on things of great importance to your kids?

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Heather - posted on 05/30/2009

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I don't know about your financial situation but in our home neither my husband or I make enough to be a 1 income family. So I just keep in mind that I am doing the very best that I can in my situation. If I stayed home then my kids would have nothing. There is more to being a good parent than just spending time with them. Providing for them makes us good moms too! I just feel good about the small things every day and make the most of the time that I have with them. I also feel that getting out and interacting with other adults and being responsible for things outside of my home gives me a stronger sense of self.

User - posted on 05/30/2009

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I've been a working mom for almost 2 years now and the guilt is still eating at me. I just have to remind myself that I am doing this so my children have a more secure life. I'm doing this all for them!

Denise - posted on 05/29/2009

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I don't think as moms we ever get over the guilt, you just have to make the time you do share with them memorable and special so they remember them times, not the times u were unable to be there. Learn ways to cope, and keep yourself busy at work so the time goes faster and you get home to your kids sooner.

Emily - posted on 05/29/2009

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I don't think you ever truly do. I try to focus on the positive side of things. For example, I know that working brings in money which will help pay for things that my 5 month old daughter will need or enjoy, like piano lessons and sports and camp and whatever. I also focus on the fact that because I am with her so little, I try to make every moment precious and focus solely on her. I don't worry about making dinner or doing chores or even think about work. So I know that even my little 5 month old appreciates all of the attention I give her, and she doesn't get bored of me. I also try to focus on the fact that working gives me some precious moments of "me" time that I might not otherwise have, during breaks and lunch and whatnot. Try to focus on the positives of being a working mom. I think it helps to alleviate the guilt.

Lauren - posted on 05/28/2009

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I stayed at home for the first 2 years of my daughter's life. Now I am a single mom so I have to work, but I felt guilty before that I was not contributing to society and our household income (which was barely adequate) now I feel guilty that I miss so much and I am so tired when i am with her. Sadly, I think it is just one of those mom things.

Kelly - posted on 05/28/2009

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Being a working mom will always hold a certain amount of guilt to it. It's important to keep reminding yourself though that you work to provide a better life for your kids. You can't catch every moment of development or every school play or activity. But remember when you are able to be there to make it worth wild. Make a fuss over your child and find ways to make it special. I promise you this... if you make it special your child will remember that while you're not able to be present for it all you do care and love them in spite of it.

Aseel - posted on 05/28/2009

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kelly kelly ... u r really brave to give up work for ur kid ... i`m a v successful nutritionist ...i always feel guilty for leaving my 3 year`s old son 6 days a week from 9:30 till 6:30 he spends the day with his grandmother he is v v happy with her and she is taking good care of him but when i come back from work he just dont run to me ... i call him from work just to hear his voice ... i breast fed him for 13 months and he started to use the potty at the age of 25 months he is v smart i tell him the bedtime story and bathe him brush his teeth prepare his meals play with him but the feeling guilty just dont go there are certain moments with ur kid that will never ever come back u can leave work and find another one but u can never bring back ur child to become baby again to take care of again and share his first word his first step again .. thats why i will leave my work next month for my beloved son hashem...

Maree - posted on 05/28/2009

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I am currently seriously considering doing exactly that Kelly Kelly. I know I couldn't handle being a full time stay at home mum, but starting to think maybe part time? Especially given we will only be $20 worse of per week when we get back working for families and less daycare etc.

Martina - posted on 05/27/2009

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I have 2 kids-one who is 22 -23 in June and one who is 9. I was a single mom for many years and you need to pick and choose what is important. With my 22year old I could not go to alot of his special things but I always made sure that someone did. With my 9 year old I can go but not to everything because I still need my job to get her the things that make it all work. You need to make some wise decisions!!

Martina - posted on 05/27/2009

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Quoting Jo:

How do you ever get over the guilt of being a working mum and missing out on things of great importance to your kids?



 

Kelly - posted on 05/27/2009

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Good luck. I made it 2 weeks short of her first birthday before I couldn't take it anymore and told my husband I had to quit my job. I was miserable and bringing that pain home with me. I have 2 shifts left and I can't be happier. Things will be harder at home and we will have to give up many of the things we enjoy, but they are all things I can live without. Not being there for my daughter's first steps or to put her to bed at night are non-negotiables for me anymore.

Rena - posted on 05/27/2009

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I'm still trying to figure this one out, but at least I am doing what I think is best for my family.

Becky - posted on 05/27/2009

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you will never get over it... just try to find a sitter like I did that doesn't tell you when the important stuff happens. She is so cute she waits till I tell her he has done something new, that way its like it was the first time....

[deleted account]

no clue... I am still hoping to win the lottery and get to stay at home! good luck on your search for answers.

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