how do you find time for yourself when you work all day then come home and be a full time mom?

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Christina - posted on 08/24/2009

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It is not easy and sometimes you have to take joy in the simple things you don't normally think about. Like driving to and from work, I get to listen to MY music and relax and drink my morning coffee. I know it is not the ideal pampering situation but I can clear my mind and not be in mommy or work mode. Also helps on my way home to calmly walk through the routine for the night and stay one step ahead of the munchkins. Next time you are in the car, stop worrying about traffic jams and the time and turn on some of your favorite music, turn off the cell phone and just cruise, it really does help!

Tabatha - posted on 08/24/2009

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Most of the time, I find time for myself after everyone has gone to bed or early in the morning when my husband has left for work and my baby is asleep. I try to spend about 30 minutes for me to just watch TV or chill out and even catching up on housework.

Vanessa - posted on 08/25/2009

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You simply have to make you important enough to make the time. Yes there will always be laundry, dishes, floors to sweep, etc, etc, etc-as long you are not neglecting your children, you must make time for you. You are the only mommy your children have and if you dont take care of you who will?



Yes, we all thought our husbands would but reality sinks in and they are just another person to take care of. Find what gives you calm-exercise? yoga? gardening? movies? And schedule it into your time. Tell your husband in advance or if you can afford it hire a sitter and enjoy you.



If you can find another mom similiar to you-that helps. I enjoy lunch with my girlfriends. I am a working mother of 2 with a husband who travels. I get to catch up with them while my children are at school. I do this 2-3 times a month. I also exercise and tell my kids-mommy is exercising no interruptions. Do not feel bad about taking some time out for you-mommy guilt will eat you alive if you let it.

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Leah - posted on 09/12/2009

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Hi there, I found that spending my relax and wind down time with my son as soon as I got home important!! It meant that I could manage my time appropriately!! I then encouraged him too play by himself in his room, he eventually got use too this and would be in there allot of the time!! This gave me opportunity for my time!! And of course a set time for going too bed was important, as that allowed more my time and time with my partner!! Which is also important!! Hope this helps!! Good Luck!! Leah

Lorraine - posted on 09/12/2009

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I take a me day from work while the sitter/school has the children. That is the only way I get time to myself and even if you can do it once a year it is good for YOU.

Deanna - posted on 09/12/2009

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I'd like the answer this this one too. The only thing I can think of is increase your energy level somehow?

Amber - posted on 09/10/2009

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The only advice I can give you is you have a couple of choices. You can wait until everyone is asleep and take some time for yourself. Hence it is 12:30 a.m. and I am on the internet. Or you can ask some one you trust to babysit for you once a week.

Anna - posted on 09/07/2009

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I have a couple of tips:

1. Stop watching tv. Instead of turning on the box, do something just for you - have a soak in the bath, read a book, do some exercise or whatever "me time" means for you

2. Plan it - put it in the diary and stick to it.

Good luck and I hope you feel better for it.

Bri - posted on 08/30/2009

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Me and my partner have our own little things we do to have time to ourselves.... We are lucky our daughter is very content and is easily amused. We either stick a movie on for her or her favourite show so we can get dinner going, do housework, do the washing and even come on facebook lol. And every couple of months or so we have date nights and either my mum or my partners mum watches her. The little things make a big difference even if its half an hour. I also work part time so i enjoy my time at work and the drive to and from work coz i am me not a mum and not a worker... its nice to break away...

Elda - posted on 08/30/2009

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What I try to do is go out for a walk on my lunch hour! I love walking by myself because it allows me time to breath and not worry about everyone else but just breath. It really helps to calm and relax my brain!

Crystal - posted on 08/30/2009

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During long showers (if hubby is home watching the kids) or after they go to bed at night is about it! Since I work full-time, I'm with my kids pretty much any time I'm not working, I don't feel right any other way, no babysitters or nights out for me. I do, once or twice a year, take a day off work, pretend i'm going to work, drop the kids off, and then go home and do absolutely nothing, or at least plan to, for at least a couple hours I always wind up cleaning or doing something I don't have time to do with the kids home. But a couple hours of doing nothing still leaves me pretty refreshed (if a little guilty because I didn't spend my day with them). Good luck!

Michele - posted on 08/29/2009

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That's exactly what I do too. Enjoy the few minutes you do get alone, get up a little earlier, I try to get up 1/2 hr eariler than everyone else to enjoy the morning. and when the baby goes to bed at night I do some chores or just relax.

[deleted account]

Quoting Danielle:

I fit my time in for myself in diffrent ways. Today I got up an hour before everyone else so I can just surf the net catch up on emails and not have any interuptions. At night I do my homework after the family goes to bed. I get more accomplished then when I try to do it before the kids go to sleep. I was not taking the time to exercise. I talk my children on a bike ride or they ride their bikes while i walk with a neighbor. I get excercise, friend time and the kids are getting exercise too.


totally agree!

[deleted account]

mostly when every one is taking a nap or bed, i can find some time to read or watch tv or answer a few emails. or when i absolutely need some time to myself, i stand in our pantry, grazing away while i try to re-focus! in the mornings when i absolutely need to get ready, i find that if the kids are entertained by themselves, its easier for me to focus on myself even if its a few minutes!

Rhonda - posted on 08/29/2009

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I agree, you have to make time by scheduleing it. When a schedule doesn't work, get a babysitter and pay for the time. You have to take time for yourself.

Danielle - posted on 08/29/2009

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I fit my time in for myself in diffrent ways. Today I got up an hour before everyone else so I can just surf the net catch up on emails and not have any interuptions. At night I do my homework after the family goes to bed. I get more accomplished then when I try to do it before the kids go to sleep. I was not taking the time to exercise. I talk my children on a bike ride or they ride their bikes while i walk with a neighbor. I get excercise, friend time and the kids are getting exercise too.

Gloria - posted on 08/28/2009

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Schedules work wonders... craft time is a great time for them to express their love to mom & dad by making something and kids go to bed at a certain time then its my time especially when they were little. As they got older I would let them know that they would need to find something to entertain themselves with and that I need time for myself. If mommy don't take care of mommy first then she will not be able to take care of you.

Jessica - posted on 08/28/2009

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Depends on how old your kids are. But, I put on a show or movie they like in there rooms and sit at the computer and write. When I don't have the computer I write in a journal. It gives me release to write out whatever I am feeling, and then its off my shoulders. Also I love it. Just find something that you really enjoy, like photography, scrapbooking whatever, and schedule time for it. Even get a babysitter sometimes as women we need our cave time too or we go a little crazy. At least I do.LOL. good luck.

Allyson - posted on 08/28/2009

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I am a mother of four and haven't yet figured this out. Seems like by the time I am done doing for everyone else it is 10 or 11 at night & it is time to call it quits. I have come to the conclusion that I will have time for me when they are all moved to their own places in 18+ years lol

[deleted account]

My family helps out quite a bit. Once a month, my mother (bravely) volunteers to watch my rambunctious boys for a weekend.

Amanda - posted on 08/28/2009

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It is called BEDTIME!!!!!!! you send the kids to bed at an hour that leaves you some time for yourself (or for you and your sweetie) to do what is needed for yourself. If it is an infant that is keeping you on your toes, then get them on a definite schedule for evenings so that you can have that time to yourself

Sylvia - posted on 08/28/2009

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I have 5 kids and by the end of the week I am exhausted, I wake up at least a hour before my household drink my coffee, bathe, and facebook!! It helps me feel like I still have a life! LOL

[deleted account]

I never use to make time for myself but now I do! I read this article in a magazing 2 yrs ago and tried it and to my amazement it worked. I posted a note on the fridge on Friday evening 2 yrs ago telling everyone in my household the new rule and that I will begin enforcing on Monday. The new rule was that mom is off duty at 8pm everyday. This means I will not cook, read, help w/homework, clean, Etc after this time. I let them know that I will gladly do all these things before this time. It took about a week of reminding my family of this rule and now they know. My kids don't even ask anymore without looking at the time. You will drive yourself crazy if you do not take time for you. I have found that I am a better mom because I take time for me. I really like being a mom after all.

[deleted account]

I plan a day once a month..I get a sitter and pamper myself all day..nails..shop..ect! Hope that helps

Alana - posted on 08/27/2009

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I put my kids to bed around 8 or no later then 8 30. then i have my time. Also i go to a scrapbooking party every last friday of the month so if you could find something like that to do also, and make hubby watch the kids. At least one night a week.

Mary - posted on 08/27/2009

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I am very lucky being that I am able to take my son to work with me. Because of that I am a full time mom at work and at home. On the weekends you best believe he is going to grandma's so daddy and I go have our date nite!

Helen - posted on 08/27/2009

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i think basically the answer is you don't. I find that since i became a mother i don't want time for myself - i get my rewards from simply playing with my child.

[deleted account]

It is great when your children can participate in the cooking and exercise part of your life, which means you have time for them and yourself, when they sound asleep you can have even 30 minutes to recollect and you won't feel guilty for not having time for them. I do it alone, no hubbie and have two children both boys aged 18 and 9 years respectively. We all have our chores and with a little bit of help along the way they will get into a routine - this is how I do it - and it works. Even if they mess the kitchen while you cook, it is fine, they are learning and bonding.

Maggie - posted on 08/26/2009

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It is so important that you take time out of each day for yourself to process your day. Even if you take 15 minutes when you get home from work and go into your room alone. Your children will learn your routine. Depending on if you are a night person or a morning person is when you should also try and enjoy quiet time for yourself. I understand how difficult it is and it seems like the days never end. In order to keep your stress level down you should also pick a day of the week or an evening where you can get a sitter and enjoy yourself. Being a Mom alone is a full time job in itself and we do need breaks. Hope this helps.

Rashidat - posted on 08/26/2009

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I usually make the most of pockets of time as they come- I try to take the metro to work, when I do drive I listen to uplifting music/fun radio station and sing along and a definite must for me is a massage session 1ce a month. Didnt realize how stressed I was til I got a massage and midway I started to cry and didnt know it :)

Angie - posted on 08/26/2009

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my downtime is after 8:30 p.m. on school nights I found this out when my kids started school. I had to tell my myself I deserve some "ME". So I send my kids to there rooms and tell me goodnight at 8:00 and they are (or should be) asleep by 8:30. I grab my bowl Fruity Pebbles and just unwind. The simple things are sometimes the best things.

Cheryl - posted on 08/26/2009

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I know it is crazy but a my birthday gift I asked to go to "a place where noone knows my name"- my husband actually rented the honeymoon suite for me alone a a cabin about 2 hours from our house. He watched the little ones and I took off work early Fri and came home Sunday.I did everything in my own timeframe- no watch and no phone. It was refreshing. --We both do these child-free time exchanges over weekends every couple of months or so. Besides that, I do things that remind me of that time during work weeks. At least it is relaxing...hot tub, drinks, fingernail polish, music, silence all after the kids go to bed. Good luck in finding what works for you!

Danielle - posted on 08/26/2009

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I stick to a strict bedtime rule during the week! It gives me time to catch up on housework or anything and time to relax!

Julie - posted on 08/26/2009

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What about single moms, with a full-time, demanding jobs and 4 kids?!? I envy you all with husbands, but after getting rid of my awful one, I decided it isn't a husband I need, it's a wife!

Kathy - posted on 08/26/2009

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You know what? You don't find time, You must make time. I understand how hard it is, leaving your second job, going home helping kids with homework. Cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, so much. Set a time and stick to it regardless of what get done or not. It will have to wait. Let this be Me-Time because you are important too. I work 2 jobs, get home about 7:00 pm, go home cook and help with homework and then straighten, not clean but straighten my house. My cleaning falls on the weekend. At about 9:30 or 10:00 pm I take a bath and read at the same time for about an hour and I am rejuvenated. Yes!!!!

Cindy - posted on 08/26/2009

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Whenever my baby is asleep at night I try to read, watch something on tv, or get on the internet. Taking a day just for you every other week or month is also healthy!

Micheline - posted on 08/26/2009

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I was feeling just like you - couldn't find time for myself - felt like I was stuck and had no choice. I was trying to be great at home and at my job and was not really being good at either. I decided two years ago to work from home and haven't looked back. I love what I'm doing, my kids LOVE having me home, and I don't feel frazzled between work and home. Contact me if you want, I can tell you about what I'm doing and you can see if it would be something for you.

Lyn - posted on 08/26/2009

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I agree with the time to and from work. At the end of the workday, I usually de-compress with some Jazz music in the car and then the traffic does not bother me as much (lol). Then if we go and work out, that is my de-compression time as well. As far as making time for all of us together, we usually plan one night after school to go and work out at the local Y and then we go to our favorite place for dinner afterwards because kids eat free!!! (another bonus as well) Then we all have time to decompress and then we all have time to enjoy each other's company before going home to sleep and get ready for the next day.

Jennifer - posted on 08/26/2009

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You don't!! No just kidding, you really have to take small amounts of time where you can. During your shower, early in the morning before you wake the kids, and even on the drive to work.

Johnetta - posted on 08/25/2009

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hey hun well as a mother full time student and employee i dont really think having some "me" time is possible, but i tend to catch it at unsual moments like going to the bath room n just standing at the sink looking in the mirror, i'll detour on the way to the daycare, or let her stay longer then usual just to have a few minutes.

Amanda - posted on 08/25/2009

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Im still trying to figure that out. I work 430 am till 1 pm m-f and then my husband goes to work at four and gets home at 12. My daughter is four months but she was two months premie so shes still up most of the night and I go to school online. So far its just been looking forward to weekends that gets me through the week. On the weekends my family can help more so my only advice is dont be afraid to ask for help on the weekends and have some mom time.

Jessica - posted on 08/25/2009

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I feel you I NEVER have time. My hubby works days and I work 3 nights a week. So we trade off kids. The boys go to school, but I am home all day with my 18 mo old and then I go to work. I don't remember the last time I was able to go to the grocery store by myself. Because I work nights I feel guilty if i try to go to HH or something like that with my friends. I feel like I should always be home. I am waiting as well to find my balance. (I also feel guilty getting a sitter for longer than an hour.) If you find it.. let me know! :)

Stacey - posted on 08/25/2009

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Schedule a day at home with some girlfriends. Host a Mary Kay Spa Party. See if any of your friends have teenagers that could babysit, or ask the husbands to take some bonding time for a few hours. Those MK girls take care of everything, and alot of them are working moms also. They know how difficult it is managing home and work. These spa parties are always free for everyone and a good time for all.

[deleted account]

Hi It can be difficult but you have to grab what you can depending on the stage your children are at. when mine were younger I made sure they were in bed early enough to give me some time, that gets harder as they become teens so now I just claim it and tell them I need me time. getting them to help around the house with chores also takes some of the pressure off. I keep reminding myself that when they have grown up I will have plenty of time so take pleasure in each day Good Luck and hang in there

Sarah - posted on 08/25/2009

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I am struggling with this myself but I have found that if I say to my husband and my kids that I need some quiet time and I'm going to do "whatever" then they do give me some space. Or I just take a spontaneous trip to the mall or a favorite store. I don't go with the intent to actually shop but just to walk around and be by myself for a while. If your kids are in school taking a some time off in the morning can be very refreshing. Of course there is always at night when they are in bed, if you can stay awake. Good luck.

JEANNETTE - posted on 08/25/2009

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HI THERESA:) IT'S VERY HAD TO FIND TIME FOR MYSELF BUT I USUALLY GET IT WHEN THE KIDS ARE SLEEPING.. BUT IT SEEM LIKE IT'S NOT ENOUGH. BY THE TIME THE KIDS GO TO SLEEP , I AM GET TIRED TOO. FEELING VERY EXHAUSTED. SO TO TELL YOU IT'S VERY HARD BUT YOU HAVE TO TRY. GOOD LUCK:)

Ashlie-Nichole - posted on 08/25/2009

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i go to school two hours early and do my errands and what i got to do and relax for the most time but really i dont ever have alone time or free time i dont mind it either i love being busy and love spending every second with my little one but at some times i do need a break we all do

[deleted account]

I try to make the most of my lunch hour. That is the one hour during the day that I can do whatever I want. I try to relax and read a book or go for a walk. Sometimes I just sit in my car down at the beach and eat my lunch to relax. I also try to go out once in a while on the weekend with a friend for lunch or shopping - let Daddy watch the kids for the day. I also take a half hour or so before I go to sleep and read a book.

Cindy - posted on 08/24/2009

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I agree. Driving to and from work. Getting ready in the morning my hubby watches the baby. At night after baby is asleep I usually stay up at least an hour or two.

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