How do you get your 4 year old girl to listen and not have so much aditude?

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Ashley - posted on 07/13/2009

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There was a period of time when my son turned 4 where he would act out constantly, even began to swear. He wouldn't go to time out, I began yelling, we were both at our wits end. I was ready to call his doctor to refer us to a counselor. I felt hopeless and day to day life was as stressful as you could imagine. Where was my baby boy? What happened to my sweet cuddly baby? One day when we were "fighting" I took him up to my room and we sat on my bed. I said "Joey? what's wrong?" and like a door opening, he began to tell me what was bothering him, something like " when you told me to 'come here' I was building my farm and wanted you to see it but you were in a hurry and I got mad". I had become so intent on "keeping order" and trying to make him respect my authority that it had turned into a battle of the wills and I thought I had to "win". That I would be a bad mom if I let him "run all over me". I was wrong. He just wanted to be heard. He needed me to listen to him and acknowledge his feelings too. After that very minute of listening to eachother and agreeing we would continue to respect eachother, our life didn't get back to the way it was,it got better. One year later, we are now very close and our days flow like honey. I haven't used time out once and I don't have to beg or warn or even ask twice for him to do something, just tell him once. It's all about respect and compassion. Take a moment and breathe. Relax. Listen to eachother.

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Cheryl - posted on 07/16/2009

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Ignore her.... she'll hate it and will try talking to you differently to get your attention. When you react unexpectedly, it really throws them.

Melissa - posted on 07/16/2009

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I am so glad I am not the only one dealing with a mouthy 4 year old!!! I know what I am supposed be be doing, but some days I just want to scream because she just pushes all my buttons. Today would be one of those days!

Andrea - posted on 07/15/2009

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hi Candice i think children just like testing boundries.I tried reward charts with my little girl with stickers everytime she did something good it did help a lot.I had a time out for her if she was more challenging,but we call it quite time where she can reflect on her behavour i minute for every year it worked really well for us good luckx

Michelle - posted on 07/15/2009

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Well i have a 5 yr old. She still have attitude and sasses me all the time! I just ignore her, or tell her talk to me when your done being mean.

Elizabeth - posted on 07/15/2009

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How do you get your 4-year-old to listen? Wait until she's 40. Most of us don't really take our Moms seriously until then, right? Relax, try to see everything from her p.o.v., throw away the rules that really aren't necessary, and be firm and consistent on the rest. Then wait patiently for her to grow up.

Ashley - posted on 07/15/2009

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Quoting Elizma:

i have a 4 year old son, who is the only child. He started having an attitude. I have tried everything, even to ignore him, but it makes it worse. Sometimes I don't have the energy to argue with him, becouse he doesn't take no for an answer, and shouting don't help. A few days ago I have said something to him out of fustration and it worked. I know it's not right, but it won't hurt ether. I told him that his ears will become like donkey ears if he doesn't listen to me. Everytime I told him to do something he ask me if he doesn't listen will his ears become like a donkey's.



Yeah that was bad....I 'accidently' did worse...One day when my son was being unbelievably naughty I said "ok that's it I'm calling the babysitter". Now,mind you, he had never had a babysitter so I was suprised this worked,but, it did. I used it maybe once a week when things got really bad. One day I said it again and he looked at me and said "fine! call the baby hitter! I'm calling the mommy hitter!". I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I felt so bad that al that time he thought I was threatening to call someone to come hit him! How embarassing. Needless to say, I don't say it anymore.

Vanessa - posted on 07/15/2009

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remember every child is different, no one knows your child like you do. When my son was at that age all I had to do was tell him he was not being nice and he would straighten up, my youngest lost her attitude when she was not allowed to put a sticker for good behavior on the calandar, but my middle child took alot of spankings, time-outs and her own growth and maturity to get out of it.

Suellen - posted on 07/15/2009

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Dont let her get to you already,she's only 4. Reward good behavior, discourage bad behavior and enjoy her. They grow so fast and sometimes things dont go according to plan , plans can change, its up to you , your the adult.If you do things with their best interest at heart things usually work out. Good luck, you will both learn from each other

Elizma - posted on 07/15/2009

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i have a 4 year old son, who is the only child. He started having an attitude. I have tried everything, even to ignore him, but it makes it worse. Sometimes I don't have the energy to argue with him, becouse he doesn't take no for an answer, and shouting don't help. A few days ago I have said something to him out of fustration and it worked. I know it's not right, but it won't hurt ether. I told him that his ears will become like donkey ears if he doesn't listen to me. Everytime I told him to do something he ask me if he doesn't listen will his ears become like a donkey's.

Alison - posted on 07/14/2009

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1.Remember to bend down to her level to have eye contact.
2.Be clear and make it simple.
3.Have the child repeat or at least nod head for understanding
4.Follow thru on the consequenses
Good Luck

China - posted on 07/12/2009

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Make sure she is aware who is in charge. Kids will treat you the way that you allow them. Let her know that you are not going to tolerate it and stick to it. My daughter is 4 and has the attitude problem sometimes. But I remind her what will be if she dont get herself together. My daughter was bad in telling me what she didnt want to do and I would have to remind her its not what you want to do , its what I tell you to do.



But I also let her know how ugly her attitdue makes her, and I completely ignore her until her attitude gets better. I start realilzeing that when I would feed into it and give her attention, she would get worse. She is getting much better at it.



Be consistent in all that you do to discpline your child, they will love and respect you for it.

Jo - posted on 07/12/2009

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When she gives you attitude, give her two choices: the thing that you want her to do and something she does not want to do, like go to her room. Then make sure you follow through.

Alisha - posted on 07/12/2009

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She needs to know you understand what she wants whether or not you allow her to do it or not. Repeat what she wants back to her until she knows you understand and if you disapprove explain that she can't and make a suggestion for something else. It works with my son and his daycare does the same thing. It works

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