I have a 21 year old that goes to college, should she pay room and board?

Wendy - posted on 05/18/2010 ( 107 moms have responded )




I pay her car insurance and her car payment and she just thinks I should pay everything. Her dog which I support and take care of got sick and the vet bills are in the thousands and she dont feel she owes me something when does this all end I cant afford it.


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I guess it depends on whether she has a job also...... If she has a job, then she should be paying her own bills. If the dog is hers, then she needs to help pay for the vet bills.

I do understand that college is expensive. I take it she lives at home since you're asking about paying room and board? I wouldn't worry about room and board so much as her paying her own car insurance and car payment.

My daughter is in college but lives on campus. However, she is home for the summer. She is looking for a job currently. I don't plan on charging her anything but that's b/c I pay her phone bill only. She is on our phone plan and allowed so much talk time and unlimited text. She texts so much more than talking! (which I prefer b/c that way I know she is not going to go over her talk time). She doesn' t have a car so no need for a car payment or insurance. We already told her that if she wants a car, she has to earn the money to get the car b/c she will have to pay the insurance. We simply and truly can NOT afford it at all. Once she does get a job, the only thing I require is she pay a little bit in gas, so I can get her back and forth to work. My daughter is responsible and understands we can't afford much so I'm lucky in that sense. If your daughter feels like you should pay for everything, then maybe it's time to sit her down and have a long talk and explain that you can't afford it. Maybe even show her your bills and your budget. Even the vet bills. Then, maybe she will understand. That's what I did with my college aged daughter. It helped!!

Megan - posted on 05/19/2010




She needs to get a part-time job and help out bc shes not a baby anymore.... Once i hit 19 and was going to school my mom charged my $100.00 a month witch if you think about it isnt much at all and if she gets a part-time job she can make that in a week... well good luck and i hope things start looking up for you...

Amy - posted on 05/19/2010




When I went to college I sat down with my parents and we decided how much they'll help pay for. For them they said they'd pay for what it would cost to go to a state school (they also said that they'd pay for college or a wedding, my sister and I both took the college money). When I transfered to a private school I knew full well that I would pay the difference.

My parents did pay for car insurance when I was living at home, when we were away at college we couldn't have a car unless we bought it ourselves and payed the insurance, etc. Any fun money or fun stuff I did had to be out of my own money.

I think that it's time you sit down with her and talk about what you will and won't pay for. I agree with what others said about the dog, if it's her dog that should have been her paying for it (even if it's her paying you back when she has the money). You just need to explain to her that you can't afford to pay everything and that if she wants to do this stuff, or own a pet she needs to help pay for some of it.

Heather - posted on 05/19/2010




Wow, I don't know... sounds kinda harsh to me. I mean, if your daughter isn't working or anything and just floating, then I think you need to force the issue of getting a job... However, I am thinking about my own college years when I took MORE than a full credit load AND worked 2 jobs, but still had to have help from my mom. She paid my cell phone bill for years and my car insurance, too, not to mention occasional help with rent when I came up short. (Just for the record, no- I wasn't spending money on partying or shopping or anything.) If she's doing her best, don't bust her chops about it. But if she's unmotivated, then I guess I'd at least "motivate" her to find work. Most colleges offer jobs for students who attend there and have some kind of posting board students can access.

Julie - posted on 05/18/2010




YES!! Even if you were to just set the money aside and gift it back to her when she gets a house or whatever, she NEEDS to learn money must be spent on more that just "fun" stuff. If you continue to pay for everything, she is not learning how to manage her own money.

Tough love. She will be a more responsible adult for it.

Rachel - posted on 05/18/2010




also if it is Her dog she should take care of it financially or find someone who will so it isnt your responsibility

Rachel - posted on 05/18/2010




she needs to help she is more than old enough to start helping support herself. she is lucky i am 23 and by the time i was 21 i had a 2 month old. just tell her you cant do it and she needs to help

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