I have a 5 yr old that still sleeps with us! I have tried everything. HELP!

Wendy - posted on 05/19/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )




She will lay in her bed if I lay with her. She will fall asleep then I get up but she soon follows to my bed! What do I do?


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[deleted account]

We had that issue with our daughter. You just have to stay strong and her bed is her bed. Your bed is not her bed. We did reading time is only in her bed and only if she stays in her bed the night before.

It was hard because I loved reading time with her, but it only took a little while for her to realize Mom meant it.

Stay strong.

Jessica - posted on 05/20/2009




consistency is the key.

Make bed time fun. Same thing every night. My son has the same problem woudn't sleep in his own bed. At his bed time I would get ready for bed too P.j's on you go get yours I will get mine I would say to him. Once that was done I would say ok now teeth you go do yours and I will do mine. Then I would say to him ok now story you pick the book and I will read it too you once you are in YOUR bed. After the story I would tuck him in kiss his check put his lamp on turn his light off and say I love you see you in the morning as I walked out his door.

If he got out of bed I would say it's not morning yet and put him back to bed. Ever time he got out the same thing I would just put him back didn't take long and he stopped coming into my bed.

You could also try star charts and if she stays in her bed for the whole night for say 3 days a week to start with then she can pick a treat. Slowly increase the amount of days. At 5 she is old enough to understand star charts and things.

Best of luck

Angie - posted on 05/19/2009




You do have to be strong and consistent. I had the same problem with my 4 year old. I gave him incentives for staying in his bed all night and it worked for him. I stayed up late and waited for him to fall asleep over my Christmas break and he stayed in his bed. He was excited for the incentive in the morning.

Renee - posted on 05/19/2009




It's definitely going to be more difficult for you than for your 5 year old. You just have to introduce her to her bed and let her know that's where she needs to sleep from now on. If she visits your bed from time to time, that's okay but she still needs to sleep in her own bed. It won't happen overnight but once you repeat the same process a few times she'll get the hang of it. Make sure you stay strong.

[deleted account]

You have to put her in her bed and leave the room while she's still awake. If you stay in the room until she falls asleep, then when she wakes up and realizes you're not there, she'll freak (think of how hard it is for you to sleep without your significant other in bed with you...same thing). I just had to do this with my 2-year-old. I used to rub his back until he fell asleep, but then he'd wake up screaming a couple of hours later when he realized I was gone. It will be hard, but if she follows you out of the room, you walk her back to her bed, say goodnight again, and leave the room. If she follows you again, you walk her back to bed, don't say anything, and leave the room...you may have to do that a few times, but she'll get it.

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