i have two children and i work full time hours midnight shifts i am trying to balance kids work two dogs and cleaning my home but i am having a hard time trying to find time to myself even if its 15 mins any advice would be great

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Becky - posted on 02/11/2009

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Thank you Tricia! I definitely feel like this helps a lot, I just returned to work full-time and am going to school part-time and my son is 3.5 months and all I want to do is hold and kiss him all day and I feel sad when I am away from him. Sometimes I feel like my hubby does not understand how much stuff I do around the house too, sometimes I feel like he thinks some magic fairy comes through the house and cooks, cleans, buys groceries, does laundry, etc. etc. And then he says, if you need help you should ask me, and I think, where do you think the grocery list that you write on goes every couple of does? It doesn't shop by itself!! Thank you thank you thank you, your words are very encouraging and helpful.



I think the real key here is to - win the lottery!! :)

Janet - posted on 02/06/2009

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Ok I am not sure how old your children are, but I have two girls aged 5 & 6 and I know crazy life can get. I make my kids help me with the house work. It is mostly their mess after all. We do eat a well balanced dinner everynight. I am telling you my Crock pot is a live saver. Everyday I put some type of meat in there and let it cook all day. When it is dinner time I just need to do potato and veggie.

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One of the things I've tried is letting the kids take turns with a "kids in charge of meal night" that includes them cleaning up the house for the "special occasion". They feel responsible and in charge, think its cool to set a menu and decide how to serve it - I get a chance to take a bath or pay bills, and the house get vacuumed and picked up without my having to threaten over it.

Lisa - posted on 02/05/2009

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how old are your kids? Can they help with the chores? I agree with a lot of the suggestions. Cutting back on housework is one. My kids are all teens now, but when they were little I was a single Mom working 2 jobs and going to college full time. When I got home I had bedtime, baths, homework, you name it. When I come in the door, my kids can greet me but they know there are no serious conversations, problems, whats for dinner question or anything else until I have half hour to myself. That half hour helps me unwind and then I can deal with homework questions and all that. When my kids were little I would leave school early and stop at a coffee shop and enjoy an hour alone before going to daycare. Sometimes that isn't possible, so that is where networking comes in.

Melanie - posted on 02/04/2009

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I had struggled with the same.  I was a single mom of 3 boys, a dog and lotsa of chores around the house.  In between the time I got home from work and the time the boys got home from school, I filled sandwich bags with healthy snacks of apple slices, celery and peanut butter, crackers etc and placed them in a plastic bin in the fridge with some juice.I  told the boys when they got home from school to first do homework and enjoy the snacks while I caught up on paperwork, had a little computer time or took a power nap.  I found a couple study groups for them and a Technology Academy that gave me a couple hours, twice a week for myself. 

April - posted on 02/03/2009

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Love it I agree with Tricia!!!!!



Your house doesn't have to be spotless, the kids honestly could careless. I work nights full time also, only girl in house of three boys and their dad (so i guess four huh)



I struggle with sleep and have also be given sleep pill, I try to sleep on my own on the nights I am off but often find I take Melatonin about an hour before I go to sleep and as for time alone I acutally sacracife the sleep I fight to get. I try to go to sleep with my husband but usually can't sleep so instead of tossing and turning I get up and do something for me I have picked up scrapbooking (which is impossible when the kids are awake) I watch some old movies what ever, read.... just a though good luck.

Tricia - posted on 02/03/2009

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I suggest:



1. Lower your standards for housework.  The laundry needs to be washed, fine, but it doesn't NEED to be put away.  There's no reason the beds have to be made or the toys have to be picked up.  If it's the choice between clean dishes and sane mom, sanity matters more.



2. Network and swap favors.  Do you know anyone who likes kids?  Ask them for an hour of help once a week.  Any friends who are moms?  Swap babysitting duties.  Heck, I even know people who do food sharing: every Monday Mary cooks a huge batch of something.  She gives a third of it to Tina and a third of it to Angela.  On Wed. Angela cooks and shares.  On Friday Tina cooks and shares.  That's 2 nights a week Mary doesn't have to cook.



3. Take advantage of programs in your community.  Drop the kids at the park district play date on Saturday and go have coffee. 



4. Make a deal with Dad.  You know what motivates him... be creative.  :)



Good luck!

Meredith - posted on 02/03/2009

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You don't have to spend money to take care of yourself. I work a full time job, get home between 6:30 and 7:30 every night, have 2 very small children and a house that needs maintaining. I DO also feel guilty, but I've seen my behavior when I don't take care of myself and it's not the healthiest for my kids. Even if it's once a week, I try to take an hour or so to go out by myself, whether it's running, or food shopping (everyone needs to do this), or getting my haircut or doing other errands....It's very helpful for my sanity and I'm sure it would be for you too....

Jenn - posted on 02/03/2009

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thats one of my biggiest problems is i do feel quilty about doing something for myself and i feel if i spend money on myself that i'm taking from my kids when they might need something i know that its not that way but i just want more for them than i had i do on the other hand need to take time for myself i just cant get a grasp on what time of the day i can

Meredith - posted on 02/03/2009

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You need to make it a priority without feeling guilty....Ask your significant other, a friend or family member to watch your kids while you go for a walk, go shopping, get a haircut, watch something you enjoy, etc. It's very important to do it. If you can't take care of yourself, you'll be in no condition to take care of others.....

Jenn - posted on 02/03/2009

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i'm sorry to  hear that i hope every thing gets better for you and your family i have been to the docters office about my sleeping habits and the only thing he wants to do is give me pills that make me drowsy and i cant function on them so i dont take them when i do nothing gets accomplished

Jenn - posted on 02/03/2009

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if i tried that by the time i came out my house would look like a tornado lol my only refuge from all the drama at work and home is when i'm sleeping lol my family dont understand me most day s and it dont help that i'm the only female in the house

Dawn - posted on 02/03/2009

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Good Luck!!  Lock the bathroom door, put in earplugs or nice music and sit in the tub. Or tell everyone you are going to a time out

Kelly - posted on 02/03/2009

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I have just recovered from stress-induced insomnia...not fun. I will be looking forward to suggestions on your post.

Jenn - posted on 02/03/2009

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i feel the same way my fiance works retarded hours and when he comes home i barely see him too then its kids off to bed and i'm still doing laundry and dishes and then off to work i dont see any end to the day until i pass out from exhaustion i also have developed insomnia due to trying to get every thing done it's nice to see i'm not the only one

Kelly - posted on 02/03/2009

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I am struggling w/ the same thing...I feel like I never have enough time in a day. It is not often we have a balanced meal on the table every night...and we are never through with everything and in bed at a decent hour.

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