I’m feel like I am failing as a mother withmy child with ADHD. HELP!!!

Ashley120490 - posted on 09/01/2019 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have two beautiful children, 3 and 8. I work easily 60+ hours, their father is also very busy with flight school and we’re always stressed financially. Our oldest has been diagnosed with ADHD since age 5 and it has seemingly gotten worse and worse for her. Over the years I denied medication for her and sought therapy to no avail. We tried medication, Adderall, which had its ups and downs. Initially no change so doc added an extra dose, in which the school acknowledged a well needed behavioral and cognitive improvement. I had my concerns about her being so young and on medication; dependence, lack of coping skills as aging, side effects, weight loss and her major depression swings that were new. I lost my insurance and couldn’t afford to sign up for new plan within the allotted period. Therefore we now are uninsured, her doc worked with us to assist with only doing weight checks and he would send refills over. I wasn’t consistent with getting her in because of my heavy workload, there are plenty of weeks I can’t even manage 20 hours of sleep much less extra monthly obligations and the cost of appts and prescriptions were impossible to maintain while being sole provider of family of four. When I am home and around my kids I am frequently stressed to meet deadlines so I don’t loose my job. I’m feeling overwhelmed with my responsibilities and not being able to support my child in the way she needs it. I often feel I am so inpatient that I cause her stress over something she can’t control. All I want is for my children to be happy and have a better childhood than I did but I am failing miserably. She can’t remember things minute to minute, can’t sit still for more than a few seconds, always is talking, always has the need to be right next to me, impulsively acts out towards younger sister and seemingly has no regard for anything I say. I know she can’t help it, but I am not being patient enough to handle it. I love my little girls so much and just want to be the best mother. I struggle knowing what’s ADHD v being her age, which causes me to be poor at knowing when to enforce disciplinary actions v teaching moments. Why don’t I have ability to be like other mothers caring for children with same disorders? Why can’t I be more patient? How can I help her without medication m?

Are there other mothers feeling the same way? I have tried everything and I am at a loss. Her father is also feeling the same stress of what can we do to ensure she is successful in life. If anyone can help, I really need advice and other mothers to share experiences. Please!

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Rachael - posted on 09/02/2019

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I am not in the same situation as you. I am a social worker and I would like to give you my opinion.
Would it be possible while your husband is in flight school for you to work less?
Children with ADHD need and thrive on consistency. Would you be able to find a support group for parents and children with ADHD.

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Ashley120490 - posted on 09/02/2019

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Hi Rachael!

Thank you for your response. I am currently looking for a change in career as I do not have an option in my current leadership role within this company. I have not joined any groups due to my availability. I was hoping joining a forum would be of some benefit for current state!

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