I need some guidance...

Sandi - posted on 12/31/2008 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I have a three year old daughter who is absolutely jealous of her one year old brother. I am struggling with what to do!! I know that she is trying to get my attention but juggling three kids and work is hard to do let alone focus solely on her. She has always been the baby and not she has been bumped into the middle. She is really mean to him when she "thinks" no one is looking. When I shoe him any attention, she jumps right in and pretty much pulls me from interacting with him. I need help!!!

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Kate - posted on 01/08/2009

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If you can find a sitter or have friends/relatives/significant other that can take your three year old out for special "dates" (or maybe they could babysit while you two go out) - even once a month and you talk about/plan when she is being good and work towards something she wants to do.....also see if you can get her to do "chores" and try to instill in the older kids that they have to help with the family/siblings?  Of course, once one kid gets special days with Mom the other two will want them too!  :)  Good luck!

Gina - posted on 01/07/2009

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Hi! I'm having the exact same problem with my boys....Jordan will be 4 in april and Tyler will be 2 in Feb. The biggest problem I have now, is that Tyler is fighting back, which is to be expected...but I am getting sooo annoyed with the constant battle. I'm not "glad" that someone else is going through this, but it's nice to know that I'm not the only one that can't handle it. They FIGHT over everything and then cry for the other one if I do punish one of them. It's a love/hate relationship for sure. I've tried for months to give quality time to each of them, but that doesnt help either. Thanks for posting, hopefully we get a few more responses...sorry i couldnt be of help.

Tiffany - posted on 01/02/2009

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Well I am dealing with the same thing. You really have to overcompensate your affection so she does not feel the need to compete. I find myself praising my 3 year old when I am holding the baby. Sometimes, I hold them both. However, I am very firm about ensuring my 3 year old understands that hurting his sibling is not ok ever. I take some time when my 1 year old is sleep and spend it just with my 3 year old. Other times, I will put the baby in the play pen for independent play whils my 3 year old and I put together a puzzle or read a book. Its not easy, but kids take their cues from you. You have to be very aware of your actions and make sure you give them both adequate attention. Good Luck.

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