Living Arrangements

Monique - posted on 05/11/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Is it ok to let your daughter live with her father Mon-Fri. Come home on the weekends. She will go to school from his house every morning. She has always been a daddy's baby.This is something that was asked by my daughter, I haven't made a decision yet thou. What should I do?

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Jen - posted on 05/12/2009

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I suggest doing a trial run. Maybe let her stay Tuesday and Thursday night one week to see how it all plays out. If you're all comfortable with it you could add another day. You need your daughter too so maybe compromise with her and her dad about what works out best.

Belinda - posted on 05/12/2009

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I think she should live with you Mon - Fri and spend weekends with her dad. Talk to her and tell her how you feel about her proposition, she may make your mind up for you.

Keisha - posted on 05/11/2009

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The truly is a decision that you, your daughter and her father should make. We don't know the specifics so we cant really give you a good answer to be quite honest. I know that it would be tough for me to let my boys go, however again I dont know your circumstances so its hard to say. I would really sit everyone down and make a decision collectively on whats best for all of you.

Christina - posted on 05/11/2009

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I don’t believe that an 8 year old is old enough to make her own decisions on what is best for her. It sounds to me she is doing what most 8 year olds do, which is wanting to have fun. In order for a child to grow up stable they need both parents in their lives. My only fear is that eventually she will resent you for not being there in her life full time. A young girl needs the example of her Mother to learn about herself and her body. If she is favoring her Father more, then maybe it’s a sign that you may need to spend more time with her and not less. Try some mother-daughter “just the two of you” bonding to rekindle closeness. For example: a girl’s weekend get away, get a pedicure together, make a game day and play one of her favorite board games, get her involve in an activity that you can volunteer at “softball, cheerleading”. Being a single parent is very hard. I was a single parent at 15 and did not marry until I was 25. My daughter is now 14 years old. I was so busy stressing to pay bills, going to college, going out with my friends, that I really missed a lot of my daughters growing up by not spending as much one on one time as I should have. She is a beautiful angel, so sweet and innocent; so I know I did something right. I am now making up for the missed time that we had. It doesn’t matter what age they are. A girl needs her Mother. My daughter is my best friend. You daughter doesn’t need to spend more time with her father because she is a “daddy’s girl” or because of her step-sister; she needs to be with you. That’s your baby!

Monique - posted on 05/11/2009

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My Daughter is 8 yrs old. Yes, I can understand that a daughter belongs with the mom but sometimes that's not true either because I know a situation to where the daughter had to live with her father and she is now 30 yrs of age getting her doctor's. I don't think that it would be bad I just don't think I could don't emotionally. I love seeing and spending time with my daughter everyday, that's my life! But she goes and spend time with her dad sometimes, also. When she is there she has her stepsister to play with because at home she has no sisters or brothers. I think that plays a big part in her wanting to be over there also.

Kim - posted on 05/11/2009

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How old is your daughter? If it were me, I would say absolutely not. A daughter belongs with her mom. Even if her dad is a good dad, she may be testing whether you will say yes or not. You need to tell her that you don't want her to live away from you (unless you actually do...then you have another issue!)...She may want to hear you choose her above all else. On the other hand, if she is an older teenager and it would be more convenient, it might not be a bad idea if her father is open to it. Good luck.

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