Mommy Guilt!!!! Why are we so hard on ourselves when we know they're ok?!!!

Emily - posted on 11/14/2008 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I have just one comment....MOMMY GUILT. I work full time and feel I'm doing something wrong every time I leave the house to go out and work...my kids are happy and well-rounded and have no problem going to the sitters. I'm the one with the problem!!! I can't shake it!

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Jamie - posted on 11/16/2008

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I think that all moms and dads have the guilt thing when it comes to our kids. Are we doing this and that right, but I think that it is cause we are all so busy and active in life that we are always thinking that we should be doing more then we are. There is only so many hours in a day. Remember that as long as we talk and interact with the kids and let them know that we love them then the guilt will be justified. I hope:)

Hollye - posted on 11/16/2008

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I think we all feel like that. I work full-time in a hospital, but I have a flexible job and a very good boss who is a MOMMY, too and understands when my children and family have to be the top priority. I think we wroking moms are great,because we have to make sacrifices for our family.

Leah - posted on 11/16/2008

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phew- i totally hear you. i work full time and go to grad school full time. my husband is amazing and i know that i'm doing the right thing for my family's future, but i can't kick the guilt. and it's not just about not spending time with my guy (though that's the biggest part) i feel guilty that the house isn't immaculate (did i make him sick by not disinfecting everything?) and the laundry isn't done (he sometimes wears dirty socks) and i don't always cook the best well rounded meals (i feel guilt every time i bring him through the mcdonalds drive through). sounds kinda silly when you put it to words, we are pretty hard on ourselves.

Amy - posted on 11/16/2008

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I have to say it is so nice to hear that I am not alone. Thanks for sharing. I have a great husband that does his share (and sometimes more) with the daily living tasks, so I am very lucky to be able to share time in the evening with the kids....now I only have 2 year old and an 11 month old, but I make dinner and and my husband cleans up...that is when I get to sit and play with the kids, my youngest I only have maybe 30 minutes before she goes to bed, and that is hard. Like all of your children, my 2 year old is learning and growing leaps and bounds, I honestly believe that it is because of the socializtion that he is getting from daycare...that I would not be able to provide him myself (is that the mommy guilt talking?) He loves "going to school", but my fear is that one morning he is going to say "I don't want to go!" I am just not sure if my heart could take that? But then again I love my job, I believe that I am a happy person and a better mother because I have a great job which still allows me to be Amy and release energy that can be channeled in a productive way, while the kids can be a part from me and form their own identities. I am very lucky to have fleixblity with my job, so that I can go to my sick kids at the drop of a hat and no one in the office blinks an eye. Do you think that we will always have mommy guilt? Or do you think that it wears off once they get into school? I travel for work sometimes and that is the hardest? Anyone have older school age kids?

Alison - posted on 11/15/2008

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My Mommy guilt kicks in in the evenings when I get home from work. How to split your time evenly between two kids, making dinner, laundy, paying bills etc. But I know my kids are happy and doing well and I am reassured every time I take the kids somewhere and some one tells me what great dispositions they have or how well behaved they are. Even still the mommy guilt remains. Amy I feel the same way when I drop my son off at daycare with a runny nose. Even if every other kid in the class is sick I still feel bad.

Jill - posted on 11/15/2008

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I'm new to this circle of mom's thing- I just looked at the posts of what other babies my son's age are doing. And he is not doing as much as some other babies. He is in daycare and I don't think he is getting as much tummy time as I would give him at home. So this definately increases my mommy guilt!

Jennie - posted on 11/15/2008

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Yes! It is so good to see I am not alone! My 4 year old asks me every night, " Mommy, why do you have to go to work?" Ahh! Mommy guilt! I love my job too and they are well taken care of too! How do you handle the evenings when you are home trying to do everything, cook, clean, and play with them? ha!

Amy - posted on 11/15/2008

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I suffer from Mommy Guilt too! Especially because I love my job so much, but everytime I drop the kids at daycare with even the slightest runny nose, I feel like everyone is staring at me....like what are you doing? Your child is sick they should be home with their mom....when of course no one is really doing that. Mommy guilt is a terrible mind game we play with ourselves. Thanks for the post, I think that I needed to release that thought! :)

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