my ex-husband said i pass my daughter from pillar to post. she goes to nursery and then my mums house when im at work. wots the best way to find out if she happy with this? she appears happy and settled.

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Holley - posted on 04/06/2009

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Trust yourself.  Only you know the best for your child.  You are the one there 24/7 your ex is there when he wants to be.  His lost    Your gain.  He sounds as if he has control issues.  And he is using your child to do this.    My girls have had nanny's and daycare and they  are great.  They understand that a MOTHER has to support the child in everyway and that means they have to work to do so.  As a mother you have to do what is best.  If you have trust in the people that are watching your children then there is nothing wrong.  There is a saying "It takes two to have a child, but a village to raise that child"  And that is all your trying to do.  God bless and tell your ex to step up and that he should feel bad about you having to do this all alone.  He should have her more as well.  All kids need their fathers and mothers.  And don't mean part time either.

Katie - posted on 04/05/2009

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You're doing the right thing. You know your daughter better than anyone on the planet, so just trust your gut when it comes to knowing whether you're doing the right thing by her. Don't let him bait you into doubting yourself, especially when he's unwilling to step up to the plate as a parent. I feel your pain. You're doing a great job! Jo the Super Nanny would have a field day with your ex. Have you two visited a counselor together to talk about your co-parenting of your daughter? That may be a very key solution to making sure that you save yourself and your daughter a lot of grief caused by conflicting priorities and parenting styles, especially when she gets older.

Tanith - posted on 04/05/2009

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I think your ex is just trying to cause trouble.  I went back to work full time when my little girl was 6 months old.  I start work at 7.30am and my mum looks after her and takes her to nursery school.  If you little girl is happy and settled you dont need to worry.  Would your ex rather she been with family or complete strangers.

Latia - posted on 04/04/2009

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honey theres a reason why hes called your ex he wasnt doing what he should of im a working mom and my sons been going to daycare since he was 8 months old believe me all you have to do is give your child all of the time you can on your day off and they will enjoy it and feel no remorse to you i applaud you and stay strong

Sara - posted on 04/04/2009

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my husband has a broken foot and out of work so while im at work my children go to thier nana and papas, they like the change and its good for all children to get a variety of family and friends they learn faster and break out of their shell sooner, so tell ur ex your doing the best for ur children!

Jennie - posted on 04/04/2009

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My kids started daycare at 6weeks cause I had to work and you will know it cause they will fussy and just need you.  It also depends on the childs age if old enough as your child and see what they say.  Dont let it bother you you have got to do what is best for yor family and thats to work right.  Good Luck to you.

Stephanie - posted on 04/03/2009

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I would do the same thing if I were you. Ex just sounds like he's trying to cause trouble. My son loves daycare so I have no problem sending him there, and if my mother did live near me, I know he would be going over there too because he's always excited to see her. Unless the nursery say's shes having problems there or your mother notices her acting secluded and standoffish, I think it's no problem at all.

Caz - posted on 04/03/2009

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thanks for the advise. as for getting him to look after her you have more chance of platting fog. he has her on a sunday and thats it. ive asked him to have her in the week to help my mum and dad out but he's awlways to busy in the pub. he told me he wanted to see her more so i suggested that he collected her from nursery on a wednesday but that interefierd with his pool match at the pub. so i knew where his priorities lied then.

Antonia - posted on 04/03/2009

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If your daughter is happy and settled, then it would seem that everything is fine.

I know a little boy in the same position and he is having behavioural problems, which to me would be a sign that he is unhappy.

Kids will act out if they are unhappy, maybe clingy, they may sulk, bite, hit, etc.....

My little man is in daycare too and he loves it, and spends lots of time with his grandparents and is absolutely fine

Sarina - posted on 04/03/2009

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if your ex isnt happy tell him to look after your daughter, alot of moms have to work and thats just how it is, my boys started daycare when they were about 15 months because i had to go back to work , if she seems happy then there is nothing to worry about .

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