My son is ADHD and I'm losing it!

Jamie - posted on 02/04/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Well my son was diagnosed at the age of 4. Too young? I wish I knew. Yes I have guilt that maybe I called mental health too soon but I was scared I was going to hurt him.He is my first of three and they are all 3 years apart.He's 10 now and his OCD and mild Touretts has been better however the anger at home and frustration in school is making me lose it. It took me a year and lots of meeting and hoops to jump through to get him in"Special Ed", but nothing has changed. The teacher doesn't modify his work load, I NEVER know what is actually for homework. I feel there is no communication at all and my husband are all alone trying to figure it out. I want to hold him back because I don't want him to "give up", he says he's stupid and doesn't get it. He feels picked on by the teacher and always being "benched" at recess because of what he doesn't do!?! When are they going to figure it out? He's confused and yet too shy to ask questions, guesses on tests because he thinks he's taking too long. I can't help but wonder what my son would be like if I never started this spiral of meds and therapy? He's so loving and sweet and overly concerned about the world and how we live. His innocence makes question how he'll survive, he just seems lost alot of the time. If anyone can share your experiences with me a would love to hear how you cope. I'm not giving up, I just need a litlle help out there. Thanks for listening.

Jamie

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Jamie - posted on 02/05/2009

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Hi Abegail,



Well my advice for you and your family is to hang in there. In the begining with us he was so young and my mom watched him as I had to return to work so when we started therapy my mom and dad attended also. This way we were all on the same page and no one was undermining one another. I heard Jenny McCarthy's book is really good if Autism is what your facing. Hang in there though,your daughter may know he's different but them being close will only make her be the one who understands him most. Thanks for reading.

Abegail - posted on 02/04/2009

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Hi Jamie. I almost want to cry reading this. My nephew will be 4 this August and we suspect him to have autism. Iknow it's not the same but he does have similar traits. He's still not talking, does not communicate at all and it's tearing me apart. More so because my 18 month old is talking and she already stares at him with a kind of "just tell me what you want" look. It's gotten worst this couple of months. He's throwing tantrums and sometimes for long periods of time. We're on a waiting list to see a specailist. It scares me to think he might be unable to function properly later on. We're trying really hard to accommodate him but I feel like my sister isn't doing all she can do or she doesn't know how. Same with my mom. Thanks for listening too.

Jamie - posted on 02/04/2009

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Well Kaiser is our insurance and unfortunately that is all I can afford.The school will not council him if he's already being counciled also. The therapy at Kaiser almost back fired because when he told her that his dad disciplines him and sometimes spanks or threatens a belt, she told me if his statements are true they could press charges! I feel like no one is getting it and realizing I wouldn't be there if we didn't need the help! We' ve even done coupes family councling, changing schools I have not thought about to be honest. I feel as though the school just wants him to get by and no help from the teacher. I am always signing papers that he is failing or incomplete work,not on task.I don't think she wants to deal with him. I don't feel this way about all teachers really, but I do think in their situation either the kid clicks with them or not. Thank you for your input,I think venting to a stranger in sort of theraputic :)

Cyane - posted on 02/04/2009

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Jamie it seems that you need to consult a new doctor. Maybe one who specializes in  ADD/ADHD and OCD!! Try to get him in an enviroment that he can work in. Have you looked into a new school. My son is 10 now and we switched schools because the one he was in was not helping him the way they should have been. I have consulted with the County Child Study Team. he has been evaluated by Dr.'s, psychiotrists and teachers. They finally came up with a game plan for him and it has worked well. Although we have had to put him on meds. it is a low dose and just enough to give him what he needs to control himself. You may need to look into more untraditional forms of managing his fustrations. Maybe a child psychologist would be inorder.  Not to diagnose him but ti help him lern to sort emotions and deal with them in a way he can with out lowering his self esteem.

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