My son is in daycare and cries all day

Debra - posted on 11/26/2008 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My son is in daycare and cries all day, his carer has just about had enough, any ideas on how to settle him? This is the second carer he has been to.

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Chrystal - posted on 11/27/2008

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My son was a breeze with daycare-got comfortable and stopped crying after 3 days. My daughter however was a much different story. After 3 months she would still get hysterical when I left. The first 2 months she cried for most of the day and wouldn't settle down for nap unless one of the staff was holding her. The daycare owner was concerned that her staff were unable to handle her, but they kept trying and it paid off.

Is your son in a home daycare or in a daycare centre with more than one caregiver? I found the centre was very helpful because there was always one person available to totally focus on my daughter-who was and is very attached to me since birth-I couldn't even shower without her losing it!

Obviously you don't want to keep having to start over with other caregivers. Maybe you could ask her what she is doing to help him get adjusted? Maybe giving him a special spot, or routine when he came in the morning? Because of my work hours, my kid was usually the first one in, and she would help the daycare teacher prepare the snacks for the other children. When I left Bella the same caregiver would be there for her, ready to distract her and try to slow her tears. By the end of that second month, she was giving that daycare teacher a big hug when we left and every morning on the way, I would talk her up, getting her excited to see her favorite teacher, and do help with her special job. You and your caregiver just have to keep trying and if she is unwilling to recognize that your little boy misses you and is trying to cope and adjust to a new environment, if she doesn't have the patience for his process of adjustment, then I would definitely say start looking elsewhere.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Cheryl - posted on 11/27/2008

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Unfortunately I do not think that there is anything that you can do. When I first sent my son to day care he cried and cried for about a month and I changed schools and he is now happier than ever. Perhaps the best thing is not to make a huge scene when leaving him. Say bye to him and then walk out the door... however, with my daughter I found that sitting with her for a few minutes in the class settled her. How long has he been with his current carer? I agree with Shania though, they will respect the fact that you work hard and do what you can for your children. All the best.

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