Need to work, but I am so torn by not being at home with my kids. It's really starting to bug me...

Tracee - posted on 01/29/2009 ( 22 moms have responded )

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Right now I have to work. Hubby's check pays the bills, mine is for food, gas for the cars etc. I"ve notice changes in my girls - acting out etc- since I've been back to work. How do I balance both? I don't get home til after 6pm, hubby is Mr. Mom getting homework done, dinner ready for them. I can't eat dinner with them during the week because of the time I get home. Any advice would so greatly be appreciated.

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Robbi - posted on 01/04/2015

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Hi Tracee,
When my three older kids were little I made the decision to stay home with them and consequentially we were extremely poor. It wasn't the right decision. People make out like money doesn't matter. This is rubbish. Financial strain also takes a toll on kids. We never had holidays, they never had more than one pair of shoes and when they got wet they were wet. With my two younger kids I worked all the time from when they were born and we had more money to provide for them the things they needed and I think as adults they are well adjusted and they never talk about missing out on having me at home but the older kids do still talk about the poverty. Its a myth that mums have to be at home all the time. Sometimes kids just act out, sometimes they go through difficult stages, be assured what ever they are doing they won't still be doing it when they are 18 and it may have nothing to do with the fact you are now working. Just ride it out. Don't worry, your kids know you love them above all else and that is all that matters in the end.

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Elizabeth - posted on 03/09/2016

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I signed up with Perfectly Posh and it has been not only a money changer but it has really been an outlet with a new family. poshbutter.com click on the company info and read up on Perfectly Posh. Jamberry, Avon, and Mary-K ladies have been making the jump and have a new drive in life. poshbutter.com

Kim - posted on 02/25/2009

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Tracee, I too am a frustrated worker...wishing I could be at home with my kids.  But it's also important to remember the positives because like other posters, I believe that our kids see and feel what we see and feel...there are positives to working as well:  my daughters are incredible socially...they've bonded with family and caregivers and trust intelligently, they are so independent (in a good way) and we always appreciate the time we DO have together...we make it quality time.  It's not expensive, just spending physical time with them and being mentally present is a huge gift to them. 



 



If you can, try to get a more flexible work environment, and slash and burn your expenses -- just to see if you can change, reduce, or get rid of your hours.  Then maybe the day will come where you can work part time, or not at all.  That's my goal and my supportive husband is all for it!  I feel your pain completely!!!  But stay positive!  Even if you have to fake a smile, it's still a smile! :)

Kim - posted on 02/25/2009

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Tracee, I too am a frustrated worker...wishing I could be at home with my kids.  But it's also important to remember the positives because like other posters, I believe that our kids see and feel what we see and feel...there are positives to working as well:  my daughters are incredible socially...they've bonded with family and caregivers and trust intelligently, they are so independent (in a good way) and we always appreciate the time we DO have together...we make it quality time.  It's not expensive, just spending physical time with them and being mentally present is a huge gift to them. 



 



If you can, try to get a more flexible work environment, and slash and burn your expenses -- just to see if you can change, reduce, or get rid of your hours.  Then maybe the day will come where you can work part time, or not at all.  That's my goal and my supportive husband is all for it!  I feel your pain completely!!!  But stay positive!  Even if you have to fake a smile, it's still a smile! :)

Kristine - posted on 02/24/2009

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I can't speak for other home businesses but ours is actually picking up because everyone wants to save money on what they already buy and that is really what our business is all about. Plus home businesses have great tax benefits at the end of the year too. You really have to think about the businesses you look into and if you think it would make sense for people and if it is something people need and will continue to need no matter what. Also of course you need to make sure it is something you would love to do otherwise you will not succeed in it either. There are a lot of scams out there too so you have to do your research with the BBB and such but there are a lot of great things out there as well. Like I mentioned, if you would like to know more about what I do I will be happy to give you the details so you can decide if it is right for you. Most places will be happy to do that if they are legit.



Once again good luck and take care!!

Tracee - posted on 02/24/2009

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Wow! So much wonderful advice. I'd love to work from home, but I am afraid, especailly with the economy. I would think that at home businesses would be the first to suffer?

Kristine - posted on 01/30/2009

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I was previously working a full-time job while being a single mom to my 2 children and it was hard to have time to spend with them especially when they started going to school and I had to work 2nd shift. I was also had rotating days off so for the most part I couldn't spend time with them on the weekends either. It sounds like you have weekends off so I would say to plan something special one of those nights to do together as a family. If your girls are older maybe plan a day to go window shopping or something. If they are younger have game nights or family movie nights. Even watching tv together helps sometimes because you are there with them. If they are still young enough you could also have the bedtime routine with them and read a story and talk with them a few minutes. You will be glad you did in the long run because with my son, since he also spends time with his dad during the week, I find it hard to have a relationship with him now because of all the lost time from before.



If you want to change and work from home, I would be happy to tell you about what I have found. It is really something that makes sense especially with the ecomomy being what it is now. It has helped me to only have to work part-time now and will eventually get me home full-time with a great residual income. Feel free to contact me direct at 608-524-3441 or request info from my website www.workathomeunited.com/mybiz and I will be happy to call you at your convenience. If this is not something for you right now, feel free to write my info down and you are welcome to contact me in the future also.



Take care and I hope it gets easier for you :)

Shannon - posted on 01/30/2009

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Gosh i'm not sure....i'm ready to go back to work since the economy sucks and livin off just hubby's income isn't helpin....i'm not sure how i'm gonna handle goin back to work with a newborn at home and a 19month old....i love bein home with them but we need the extra income....does it get easier???

Peggy - posted on 01/30/2009

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Hi Tracee,



I just want to say that Rachele McIntosh comments are right in line with mine.  We focus to much and feel so guilty. but in reality our children are learning from us.  So if you are portraying guilt they will feel your guilt.  Instead try to be confident and show your girls that you are both a GREAT Mom and a full time worker.  Try to spend the first moments at home asking and listening about their day, make this a routine.  Have confidence in the man that you married to do just as well a job as you would.   I am very fortunate to have a job where I now stay home and work and the whole family joins in with me to get my work complete haha we make it family time doing it together.  If you feel that you would like to know what I do for a living please feel free to contact me Pmcmona@aol.com.  I LOVE my job!



God Bless, Peggy    

Erika - posted on 01/30/2009

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My mother was a single mom who worked long hours when I was groing up. But yet I never felt neglected or sad about it. I think that is because when she was home it was always quality time, and she allways left work at work, even mentally. So my advise to you is to decide not to feel guilty about going to work, because you are doing it for your children  =)



That way you will be a happier mom when you are with them!



Also, my mother allways said; "I´d rather have a bad consciounce towards work, than towards my kids, anyday!"



Good luck  =)

Rachele - posted on 01/30/2009

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Hi Tracee... My mom worked long hours when I was a child too. But I never felt slighted in anyway. She made sure I participated in so many activities and had wonderful family to enjoy as well. I truly believe that the extra activities made for a better me as an adult unlike some of my friends who can't seem to function well in a social setting or even have as close of a relationship with their mom as I do. I understand that because she worked long and hard, she was able to pay for me to go to college, paid for my wedding, afforded me the foundation that I needed to be a successful well-adjusted adult. You're also blessed to have a contributing husband as well! Many moms don't have that luxury either, unfortunately. So think of this as an investment period, and I'm sure you and your family will be fine!

Evelyn - posted on 01/30/2009

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hi you have a juggle at hand of keepin your girls aware that you still care,make the extra time on weekends and write special notes to them during the week,I am a single mum of four boys all no older than eleven,I work full time and have raised them on my own for the last six years,it is a battle of emotional proportions but I am always there for them when they need me,life is hard espescially now financially and Im sure your girls do know that,any spare time you have use some for the girls,one afternoon of happiness with there mum will mean alot to them so set that time aside,I assure you it wont go unnoticed and forgotten

Jennifer - posted on 01/29/2009

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I am in the same position right now. I get home at 7pm and bed is at 8pm SO I just try to have something that is mine with them. For my 7 year old son he likes to be tickled before bed and tucked in. My 5 year old girl likes a bed time story in her bed, just for her and my 2 year old sits on the couch with me while I type emails or take a breather before bed. It is miserable, but I try to tell them how much I miss them and that if I could I would be at home with them, but that everyone works and right now I work a lot because we need a lot. I also ask each of them how their day was individually so they feel like they have my attention. Good luck

Michelle - posted on 01/29/2009

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Quoting Gloria:



Hey Tracee,






I work outside the home and I now doing a home business also.  I am working my way to working from home full time. Want to know a little more? Just send you email and I will send it to you.  






could u send me more info about your home business please? thank you bye for now

Cyane - posted on 01/29/2009

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Ladies, no need to feel that way. I have a great opportunity for you to work and be home. It will give you the income you need with out being away from your family. It does have an investment cost but I can asure you it is well worth it. Send me an emsil at CJewels4you@yahoo.com and I will be happy to tell you more about it!!

Stacie - posted on 01/29/2009

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Can't say that I have any advice since I am pretty much in the same position you are in. Feeling forced to work even though the guilt of being away seems heavier on the heart. I have 3 teenagers and their father cannot work. So he "takes care" of the house etc and I am "taking care" of the finances. I try to spend as much quality time as I can, but it just doesn't feel like enough...by far. So even though I have nothing for advice...I can relate. :(

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