Question for Other Mothers with Babies in Day Care

Melissa - posted on 09/20/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I have a month old baby, my first, and he will be only two months old when I have to put him into daycare... One thing that has been suggested to me is that I ask the day care provider not to tell me when my son has a milestone so that when he does it with me, it will feel like the first time. Does anyone have an opinion on the matter?

11 Comments

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Cecilia - posted on 09/25/2009

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I haven't expressly asked not to be told and our provider will hint that something may be coming like "she may start crawling soon" but it is nice to be able to experience the milestone yourself while it is good to know what to watch for.

Rhiannon - posted on 09/24/2009

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I liked when my son's school, (I call it school instead of Day Care- it helped with the back to work mommy guilt) told me about his day, including milestones. I missed almost all of them in some ways, but hearing about them from his teachers who loved him was almost as good. His teachers became extended family members and when they told me the stories, I could see that they were as excited about what he had done as I was. There is not a good answer for this question. It is really going to depend on you and your relationship with his teachers. Luckily, the major firsts won't be for a few more month so you have time to decide.



Good luck and congrats on your baby. Welcome to motherhood!

Tina - posted on 09/23/2009

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I HAVENT EVER THOUGHT OF THAT BUT IT SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA. YOU ARE GOING TO FEEL LIKE YOU ARE MISSING SO MUCH ANYWAY HAVING TO BE AWAY FROM HIM.

Michelle - posted on 09/22/2009

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hmm tough one...I suggest a camera or video cam if the daycare provider wouldn't mind setting it up and taking some footage for you! But otherwise, maybe best to not know and feel like it is a first when you are with baby!

Tania - posted on 09/21/2009

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I put my daughter in daycare when she was 6 months old. I have always been one to want to know what she has been up to and what she has been achieving and yes it does hurt that you are not there to see the 1st's but unfortunately it's going to happen. I missed a lot of the 1st's but it makes it more special when you do get a 1st when your bubba is with you!!! Good luck as it is hard but you do get used to it and it does get easier and it does make you appreciate the time you do get together.

Cristina - posted on 09/21/2009

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I really didn't have much choice in the matter. I "missed" his milestones because I was away all day, but my Mother-in-law (who I love) was home with my son when I couldn't be. So, on the one hand, I missed his "firsts" but he was still with family. Did it bother me? Somewhat, but only briefly, because in your special times together, he will have milestones, and he will be more aware of them himself because you will respond lovingly to him, much more so than the daycare. Whatever you decide, look forward to seeing the milestones yourself, and make them special for him too...even though he'll never remember it =)

User - posted on 09/21/2009

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I work with infants and toddlers all day. I see lots of different milestones but don't know if I should say something or not to a parent for this very reason... What if they have never seen it before or it's something they just started doing. I ask general questions like, "So what new things has "Jon" been doing at home. Then if the parent starts talking about a milestone I then know to tell them when he starts doing it more often at the daycare. But, if you don't want to be told or if you do tell your daycare provider:)

Keyswana - posted on 09/21/2009

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i think u should be told becuz just becuz he doesn't do it around u doesn't mean he wont do it again

Melissa - posted on 09/21/2009

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Thanks so much, i appreciate the words of wisdom! I greatly respect your ideas regarding helping out with your grandchildren, also. AJ's dad grew up with two working parents, but my mom stayed at home with us.

[deleted account]

I would tend to think that would be a good idea. It is tough enough to miss those little things with out having someone esle tell you about it. I think it is a good idea for you to see them for yourself and experience it "first". Good idea. It always made me sick to my stomach when my baby sitters who were friends or relatives told me of things my babies did while I was at work. I was my own worse enemy though. My kids grew up just fine with me working outside the home. The moms are the ones who feel guilty. Make the most of the time you have with them and you will do great. My kids are grown now. This is why I am working so hard right now with my husband to build our ACN business, we want to have more time and freedom to help our kids with their children.



Michelle Fisher

"Changing the way we communicate"

thefishers@acnrep.com

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