Seeking balance

Toni - posted on 11/18/2008 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi there!

I have an 8 month old son, I work full-time, and I am single. I recently I started feeling like I am in a rut, depressed, and overwhelmed. I love my son...but I feel overwhelmed lately, like I need a break. I'm thinking of taking a couple days off work while he is in daycare...but I still seek to have balance in my life.

Anyway, I'd love to hear from any of you about this. I really feel a need to identify, and your advice would be much appreciated.

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Sarah - posted on 11/18/2008

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I have nothing but absolute respect for single moms like you - Way to go! Although I do have a partner, I find that taking one night a week for ONLY ME helps me keep it together. Do you have someone who could babysit for one night a week? Maybe you know another mom you could trade off babysitting evenings with?

Rachael - posted on 11/18/2008

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Toni,



I feel for you, I have been there and I still am somedays. My daughter is 4, I have been a single mom since day 1 and I have a demanding career. Your right, some days it sucks and you just want to curl up and quit, at leas half of your friends disappear since you can't go out with them anymore, your sleep deprived and then guilty when you try to do something for yourself.



They way I have coped, and its not 100%, I still have days that I am overwealmed, is I have found activites that we can do together but get me away from work or home. When she was a baby I found a local mom's group that met weekly for an hour or so on a saturday and we went. I made some friends there, as well as some support (even though most of them were not single parents) and that has developed into playdates and trading childcare now which is great and a whole lot cheaper then a babysitter. I also did a mommy and me class which got me out and interactive with my daughter. Then for me myself it was the gym. The physical exercise burned off a lot of that stress and made me a better mom. I felt guilty in the beginning (they are already in daycare, and then I would be putting her in more care) but I am blessed to be able to set my own hours at work most of the year so I would just leave earlier that day so the total hours were the same. Now she loves going, I have a couple other single moms and we plan to meet there 2x a week and the kids are all friends and look at it as a playdate and are really excited. I also, maybe once a month or so take a day off from work, my daughter still goes to school and I take that day for me, do what I need to do, or sometimes do noting on my "to-do" list and just get a manicure or massage and chill.



I still havent found the perfect balance (like dating, yeah havent factored that in that well) but its closer. Good luck!

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