Seperation Aniexty

Kim - posted on 08/04/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

2

17

0

McKenzie has moderate growing to severe separation anxiety. It is only when she is at school.. I am looking for any and all suggestions to help her. She cried for no less than an hour EVERY morning and sometimes again in the afternoon. She said she is afraid that either Matt or I will get hurt when she is not with us and she would know.

5 Comments

View replies by

Kim - posted on 08/05/2009

2

17

0

Thank you everyone. This week has been better. We have put together a "Busy Packet" with a journal and workbooks. I have always kissed and told her I love you. I can't linger because she will see me get upset. She has been in care since 22 months, she is really bright and claims to be bored mostly at free play time, that is when she starts to cry again thinking about us. We have talked to a counselor that is goignt o meet with us every other week to teach her some relaxation, stress management and logical thinking. We have also started a calendar, every day when we get home we we put a sticker on the calendar to show we went to school and work and got home no one was hurt. It make her smile.

Cris - posted on 08/04/2009

10

13

0

she's obviously insecure..I would talk to her to find out where this fear is coming from..I would encourage all the good things she is missing when she's crying and thinking negatively. Maybe she watched a movie with similar circumstances (there are many in which the mom or dad get hurt while the child is at school.) - This fear of hers is lingering and its keeping her from enjoying all the other things..Then I'd also pray. I hope she's doing better : )

Stefanie - posted on 08/04/2009

15

101

1

I would encourage you just to keep telling her that nothing will happen to you and Matt. Support her and tell her its ok to care but sometimes we have to go places where kids are not allowed. Hope this helps.

Christy - posted on 08/04/2009

43

24

10

Well her are some basics:

*Don't hate me for this*

Don't linger, I know when your kid is crying and wanting you to stay - instintic tells you to hug and kiss and love her. It's just showing her that crying will cause the result she wants - Mom staying. Walk in give her a hug and a kiss, tell her you will see her later, and leave.



Lingering doesn't make it easier on either of you, the more upset you get the more upset she will.



You could take her to the store and let her pick a journal with something she likes on it. This is her Speical Book. But it's only for school. Explain to her that this book is for her only, and it's a special book mommy and daddy look at when they come and pick her up. When you drop her off encourage that she draw lots of pictures in her speical book cause mommy and daddy are so excited to see her art!



You can foster then by looking in it each day and putting a sticker on each page.



Try not to bribe her "i'll bring you chocolate back if you go in" because at 4 she can certainlly manipulate.



Stay postive even if she's breaking your heart don't let HER see you upset. Also ask the teacher if it would be ok if she brougth something to show the teacher. Like a picture or toy she loved. Explain the toy goes to the cubby after you show the teacher, but it may provide a pleasent distraction for you to sneak out after hugs and kisses.



Also, have the teacher do her part, set up activites that intrest the child and help her focus on that.



These are a few tips that have worked well in my classroom.



Hope it helps and good luck!

Christy - posted on 08/04/2009

43

24

10

I just checked her age, she is four right? This is the age of kids I teach. How long has she been in care? Has this behvaior started recently or been on going?

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms