single moms...how to cop?

Nadia - posted on 08/07/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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how to go on taking decisions.......kids growing ...n den having their own interest n u left alone wondering what to do.....any suggestions??????????

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Daphina - posted on 08/12/2009

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Girl enjoy it! you put in a lot of hard work, time, blood, sweat and tears to raise your children your reward at the end of it all is the freedom to be the person you were before you had children. Maybe you are not the same age, and maybe your priorities have changed a bit, but you are still the woman that you were before you became "mom" "mommy", or "mama". Try to rediscover who you are, who the real Nadia Shahid is, and what she wants to do with her time and her mind. Trust me this is probably the best part of your life to date. You can sit back and watch the children you reared make their own choices and mistakes, and know that you did your job, and whether you agree with the choices they make or not, you did what you needed them to do.

Flurrie - posted on 08/12/2009

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Thank you so much.. I need a little ecouagement in this area. My son said to me last night. Mommy why are you always mad??? And that just tore me up inside that my son sees me in that light. i have to learn to disipline him better and not with an angry face or tone. I have a lot of work to do. I stay so busy with work,home,church that time for me seems so few and far in between outside of working on my spiritual self... But again thank you for being a source of encouargement and I welcome to come..



Zion's Mom

Flurrie - posted on 08/12/2009

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Quoting Lauren:

Hello I am a mother of a four and five year old. It is very hard but when I look in their little faces I just smile. You will get lonely but remember you are never alone. Dont think of all the things you cant do just think of all the things you are doing like they are being feed, they have clothes on their backs and they have a warm place to lay their little heads. It will all be worth one day just remember you have done the best that you can. If there is ever anything I can do to encourage you or help you please feel free to let me know.


 

Amy - posted on 08/09/2009

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Hey Nadia,

I'm a single mother of a 5 y/o myself and all I can say is that you need to have confidence in the decisions you make for your children. I'm sure you are a wonderful mother and know what is best for your kids. It also doesn't hurt to ask your parents/ grandparents/ friends & family for advice. Both my mother and my father has been involved in my sons life and my father has actually stepped up as a father figure for my son. If you have a male figure (father, brother, friend) around once in a while, this helps out too. Probably the most important thing (mentioned by Cidalia) is to really try and not suffocate your kids too much. Yes, it's hard and lonely at times as a single mother... if you can find time to go out at least one night a month with friends or take some classes it will help fill that void. Even if you find a hobby that you can do at home at night helps (painting, making jewelry....whatever you enjoy doing). Best of luck to you!

Lauren - posted on 08/09/2009

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Hello I am a mother of a four and five year old. It is very hard but when I look in their little faces I just smile. You will get lonely but remember you are never alone. Dont think of all the things you cant do just think of all the things you are doing like they are being feed, they have clothes on their backs and they have a warm place to lay their little heads. It will all be worth one day just remember you have done the best that you can. If there is ever anything I can do to encourage you or help you please feel free to let me know.

[deleted account]

Being a single mom is hard, but our main jobs as mothers (whether single or married) is to prepare our children for life to ensure that they are successful, happy, healthy adults. I completely agree with Cidalia's post - we are parents too and need to foster our own friendships, hobbies, activities, etc. We need to make sure that we are healthy and balanced in order to lead by example. I'm not sure how old your children are, but they will always be a part of you, part of who you are - but that's the key a PART.

Cidalia - posted on 08/07/2009

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As moms, we often make our children the center of our universe, and that's fine, but a mom is a person and really should have something that she does that is just for her, whether it's a hobby, volunteer work, a social life, going back to school... whatever makes you happy. My mom was like that... too involved in our lives. It was not good for her, and it wasn't good for us either, because she would almost suffocate us with the need to micromanage our lives because she had nothing else going on. I believe it's had a negative effect on my brothers, who live at home with her in their 20s and 30s, and in turn, she's resentful because they're so needy, but at the same time, she doesn't want any of us to really move out (she just wants her kids to live with her and for everyone to "help each other out" as she says). It's not healthy. Kids are meant to grow up and move out on their own and make their own lives. Moms just have to make sure that they too have their own life. Your kids are always an important part of your life, but they shouldn't be the only part of your life. You're a person first. Then you're a mom.

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