Struggling for Balance

Kimberly - posted on 01/30/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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As a mother of two boys, 6 and 2, and wife who works full time at a demanding job, I am seeking advice on how to balance the scales while managing to keep everyone happy (especially daddy, who doesn't get as much attention as he needs and deserves), while also ensuring that no other balls drop. Not to mention, getting a few breaths to myself here and there.

As a VP at a large financial institution, my work is very demanding, and, under the current economic environment, has grown even moreso. My husband works also, out of our home, however struggles with seeing out of my lens and the many demands and audiences that I am trying to cater to and keep 'happy' at any given time. At the end of the day, I lately end up just feeling like I'm doing everything at 80% and not keeping anyone happy in the process, including myself.

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Syreeta - posted on 02/20/2009

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I understand exactly where you are coming from. It has become so bad for me that I am taking Klonopin and Lamictal to keep myself on an even keel. I have even started seeing a therapist. I am trying to come the realization that I can't be everything to everybody. Given the current financial situation neither my husband or I can be without our jobs and shortchanging my child is out of the question, therefore it is my husband that has been suffering from lack of attention. This has caused a lot of tension in our relationship. So at the advice of my therapist I had a talk with my husband about what was happening and that he needs to help remove some of the burden of running the household and taking care of our son so that I can relax. If I can relax then I can be in a better mood and more importantly have more time to spend with him. This situation reminds me of a saying: you have a triangle, on one point you have fast, another is good, and the last is cheap. If you want something cheap and fast then it won't be good. And if you want something fast and good then it won't be cheap. The same with our situation we have work, home/child, husband on the points of the triangle. You have to work and you have to take care of your home/child so if he doesn't step up then he will be left out, unfortunately.

Claudette - posted on 01/30/2009

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I also feel like I have no time for nothing but a woman needs to look after herself other wise she is not gonna be able to look after her kids and husband. I have a 7month and my mother helps me alot.I also think if you get someone to help with house chores.You will feel beter but I believe that your husband must also help because both of you are working. My husband helps me alot so that I can also take a break.

Alice - posted on 01/30/2009

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That is how I feel everyday. I am a full-time physician and have 2-year-old twin boys. My husband also has a demanding job in the financial industry.



What I have found helpful is having someone come into our house to help out with household chores, so at least those are taken care of. We hired someone to come in the afternoons to clean the house, do laundry, grocery shopping, cook dinner, help with the kids when they get home from daycare. I still feel like there are not enough hours in the day to do everything I want to do.

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