[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

hi, i ve a 12 year old son who will be 13 in december and im slightly nervous about him becoming a teenager, u hear awful stories about good children turning in to a nightmare when they hit their teens. does anybody else feel like this?


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Linda - posted on 08/19/2009




Without a doubt. mine is on 11, but I see alot of changes already, I would gladly trade the twisted teenage years for the terrible toddler years in a heart beat. Only thing I do and will continue to do is keep talking (not nagging) talking and listening to them, sometime you have to drag things out of them. I've made an agreement with him, he can say anything he wants to on FaceBook, and I will not get mad, or hold it against him, however the deal is, I have to be able to view it.... Aleast I will know what's on his mind.

Rachel - posted on 08/19/2009




I teach teenagers and have seen "it all" from the outside and in. Many parents have asked this similar question. My common answer is not all the comforting, but it is true and may help.

For the average American teen, the teen years are a time that is VERY selfish, confusing, and full of stress. They are still learning how to deal with all this and lose themselves along the way more often than not. But, they do come back to you if you have established a good foundation in the early years. What I mean is that they trust you and know you love them already; they know that you love them, even if they change their minds or fail to meet an objective. Now I do not mean let them run loose; contrarily, this is a time when consistency is the key! Remember that they want to be an adult but are not one yet. As a parent talk to then regularly, get to know what they are doing through teachers, friends, and their peers WITHOUT overdoing it and trying to be their friend or the cool one! Share your day with them in a conversation while allowing them input and opportunity to share their day. If you have been doing these things already, it is a sure sign that you are on your way to keeping good relations with your kids through those not so loving teenage years.

As my mother says:

"Your kids WILL break your heart, but don't forget that you did it to someone when you were there age! Be sure to roll model what you want to teach them about concern for others and pave the way for compassion. The hope for the best and let them become the adults you know they can! They will come back to you!"

I hope this helps!

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