To cry or not to cry...

Maria - posted on 06/16/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )




SO, I need some sleep...Noelle is just not sleeping through the night, It is so hard for me to put her down and let her cry, so she ends up staying up until 9 or ten and then wakes up in the middle of the night to get a bottle and then she up by 5 or 6 in the morning. My mother watches her all day while im at work and she "cant bear to wake a sleeping child" and lets her take 2 long naps amounting to 5 or 6 hours a day...I have asked her to limit nap time, but she will not listen, Noelle is 10 months old and any advice would be appreciated!


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Sheila - posted on 06/17/2009




Grandma needs to keep her up you must be wore out!! I have three kids and one gets up during the night just to climb into bed and sometimes I feel exhausted. Maybe now that it is summer they could go on some outside adventures during the day and then she would sleep at night

Kathy - posted on 06/16/2009




My son and I went to sleep school and received information as to how much sleep a baby/child needs. For a 10 mth old it was around 13 - 14 hrs per day, that equated to 10 - 11 overnight and 1 - 3 during the day (x2 sleeps of 1-1.5 hrs). Sounds as though you might need to be a little firm with the carer and explain what you are experiencing at night and sttate you would prefer your daughter only has 1-2hrs x2 during the day. If you are not clear then it won't change... All the best. A link that may be useful

Amy - posted on 06/16/2009




Is there any way to get your mom some info about how much daytime sleep your daughter needs? She really doesn't need 5-6 hours a day. I work as the lead infant teacher at a child care center, and by 10 months, most kids there are taking 30 min-1 hour naps in the morning, and around a 2 hour nap in the afternoon. It seems to be plenty for them. I do know that while daytime sleep is important for growth and development, nighttime sleeping and sleep cycles are just as, if not more, important. Good luck!

Esther - posted on 06/16/2009




I have to say upfront that I don't believe in letting kids cry-it-out so I tried to find a method that would accomplish him falling asleep in his crib without the crying. I always rocked my son to sleep and when he was about 14-15 months old that got a little hard to do as he didn't quite fit in my arms anymore and he was getting so heavy that carrying him to his crib and putting him down without waking him up again was becoming next to impossible.

So what I did was make our bedtime routine slightly more elaborate than it used to be. After all the normal steps (bath, PJs, brushing teeth etc.) I now go around the room with him and we say goodnight to all the animals in his room (in pictures & stuffed). The stuffed animals get put on their backs too as if they are going to sleep as well. After that I sit in the rocking chair with him (in the dark) to give him a last bottle or sippy of milk. Once he's done with that he's ready to go to sleep and I'll sit with him maybe a minute longer (mainly for my own pleasure) and just hold him, sometimes sing a song, give him some kisses etc. Before he's actually asleep I put him in his crib.

Then I sit down on the floor next to his crib with my back against it and from that point on I ignore him, unless he's (really) crying. When I first started doing this he would do everything he could think off to get my attention. Throw pacifiers at my head, pull my hair, laugh really loud, pace back & forth behind my back, throw the stuffed animals out of his crib, call "mama", you name it, he did it. And I ignored it all. Eventually he would lay down and go to sleep (sometime lay down, get up & lay down again). The first night it took me about 45 minutes. After about 2 weeks I was down to 10 mins. After a month or so (maybe slightly less) I could put him in his crib and just walk away and it's still like that now. The only set-backs we've had was for about a week or so after he had been sick (roseola) and I had to stand next to his crib again for about 5 mins until he went to sleep, and when we had family visiting from Europe and I would have to sit there for about that same amount of time for a few days. Not a big deal though.

Having him fall asleep in his crib rather than in my arms has also helped him sleep through the night. Of course your daughter is younger than my son was when I implemented this, but it might still work.

I feel your pain though. I got up every single night for 15 months (often for hours at a time) before my son was ready to start sleeping through the night. There is a reason sleep deprivation is considered a form of torture. However, it does get better - I promise, and then the memory of all those sleepless nights will fade fast. Hang in there.

Good luck.

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