what do you do with a girl of allmost 6 jears that dosn't sleep at night ?

Lindsay - posted on 06/23/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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every night is my girl of allmost 6 , 2 to 3 houres awake . sometimes she wakes up around 3 or 4 and she won't sleep . i'm like a zombie . we tride with wome medication and it didn't help . if she sleeps at my parents , she sleeps all night . what do i do wrong ?

12 Comments

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Kati - posted on 07/13/2009

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I think that the first thing you should do is take her to the doctor. Since she's not sleeping, you should make sure that it's not being caused by a medical or developmental issue. The doctor will also be able to examine her current routine and diet and offer you suggestions based on professional training, experience, and evidence. If you don't already have a doctor, try to find one that is already a mom :) Good luck!

[deleted account]

I was that kid. I believe I've tried every prescription and over the counter medication to aid insomnia ever invented. I'm 44 now and having lived a life where I awakened several times a night or just didn't sleep at all I suggest the following (and know that although it's frustrating to you, it's just a "different" way to sleep, and it's not wrong that she wakes):
1. A soft bed and a soft pillow - I bought a 4-inch memory foam memory topper and a feather pillow
2. Good sheets - kids sheets tend to be all about the character design or the matching theme, 300+ thread count are just more comfortable against the skin
3. Something comfy to wear - a big, well worn/washed, cotton t-shirt
4. No carbs after 6 p.m. and a lot of protein at dinner
5. Dark curtains or a dark liner behind the curtain - any bit of light can be distracting
6. A glass of water before bed - the throat gets dry and one wakes up looking for a drink
7. NO bath before bed - even the fragrance of the most mild soap or shampoo can keep one awake
8. bed time story...a long-ish one, or read some chapters of a longer book
9. sleep to CD - doesn't work for everyone, but might for the musically inclined
10. sleep to tv/dvd - again, not for everyone

After all of this trial an error, and maybe age (lol) I can usually get 4 to 6 hours straight a night! (I know you are hoping for 8+ but if you think it's frustrating to you, imagine how frustrating it is or soon will be to her!)

Six hours is like heaven - sometimes I even dream and remember! I have gone years without dreaming (at least I can't remember..maybe that's an over 40 thing - quit laughing...)

I think the less you worry about it the easier it'll be for her to sleep. She knows you are anxious and that you try a variety of things and routines. Probably less stressful at grandma's - not a conscious thing, just is...

I agree with giving her some quiet options. Like she can get up and color or play quietly but only in her room. Or she must not wake anyone in the house until 8 a.m. but that it is ok for her to be awake earlier, she just needs to know that Mom isn't done resting.

And about NOT letting her take a nap because she won't sleep later? That's just not true...she will skip a nap when she is ACTUALLY tired and needs to sleep, and STILL not sleep at night. LET HER SLEEP whenever she is tired. Otherwise she simply won't get enough rest.

Jacky - posted on 07/11/2009

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My son is 5 and has never slept through the night. I know it is hard. His doctor tells me that some kids are just like that and not to worry. But to try a good sleep routine, and not to allow television 3 hours before bedtime. It hasn't wotked for me yet but it may help you. If you find anything that works let me know.

Tina - posted on 07/10/2009

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My son is 15 now but he is ADHD which also causes a sleeping disorder..I have tried med for the doctor (which made matters worse) it only caused other problems. He curently is not on any med. I tell him he has to be quiet and stay in his room but he can stay up for 2 days sometimes I have tried sleeping pills also but it just kept him up longer!! believe it!!! something you need to check into is a sleeping disorder...oh one more thing when she stays at grandmas house and she sleeps maybe b/c her body is finally tired BUT for the fit throwing is only b/c you allow it and give in to her try having you son stay at a friends house or grandmas so he can get rest while you let her scream and throw her fit ...I feel for you my son doesnt sleep well but he never bothered us he has always watched t.v. or played games

Marlène - posted on 07/07/2009

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If you tried all the other "tricks" and nothing worked yet, try to look for "electro smog". Loads of children are very sensitive to it and it might disprupt their sleep. So make sure that your girls bed is not :
- with her head close to an electric socket
- next to a wall with a TV / PC on the other side
- check also if your flat/house is next to mobile phone antenna, less than 1/3 miles radius => if it is the case, there are tons of things over the internet to help you neutralise that problem

And for my son I use these http://www.indigoessences.com/ Might sound a little "occus-poccus" but it works, so why not ?

Carol - posted on 07/07/2009

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Some children just wake for no reason. The fact they sleep at your mum could be how much exercise or energy they have spent in the day, if they have had different dietry things like fizzy pop which is a stimulant, or it could be she has just got herself into a routine of waking up and she knows that you will give her attention each and every time, she is not aware at that age of what sleep deprivation is in respects of you her parent as children can survive on very little sleep. Perhaps break her routine and start a new one. Keep her on the go as much as possible during the day, walking running you name it so when it comes to bed time she is knackered but instead of letting her go to sleep when she is tired, keep her awake longer than the bedtime and say half hour later put her to bed. Get her to have a bed time story, so when she does finally get to go to sleep she will be extremely tired and may sleep better. If she does break the new regime, just take her back to her bed, tell her to go back to sleep and if she cannot sleep she must stay in her room, speak gently so she understands that she is not being punished being taken back to bed, sometimes you have to just keep re-affirming she must go back to bed, it may take a few attempts but she will get the message then that it is ok to wake up but she must stay in her bed unless she is poorly in which case you are there. It sounds a bit like she has got out of routine at home, and when she is at granny's house she has a strict routine, and she knows that granny won't tolerate her getting out of bed during the night. Worth a shot, good luck with it.

Jennifer - posted on 07/04/2009

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I created a rule for my 5-yr old daughter when she wouldn't sleep at bedtime - we made the rule that she had to 1) stay on the bed no matter what (when she was pottytrained, she could go 2 times) and she had to be quiet. We have a small christmas tree with lights that we leave on that seems to help her sleep until 7:30 or 8:00. Prior to the lights, she would yell for us around 1 AM and she didn't like her door closed. Good luck!

Sharee - posted on 06/30/2009

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hi you are not doing anything wrong i have a son with a disability he's nearly 10 and he still wakes up at least 5 to 6 times a night. with my son he use to wake at those times in the morning i use to put a dvd on for him and i would go back to bed. it does'nt sound good but when your on your own with 3 kids you do what you have to. he would just fall asleep in front of the t.v. i would'nt move him i covered him up and he would sleep there until i got up to take my other 2 to school.

Tracy - posted on 06/29/2009

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Hi Lindsay, I agree with Angela ... in my opinion you should first of all see what is the difference between your parents' house and yours .. actually the room where your daughter sleeps .. for example if she has any light coming in her room disturbing her sleep (maybe she wakes up thinking its already daytime) .. if she finds her toys handy to play with as soon as she gets up, so she's urged to wake up ..

Try also to give her a 'mummy role' ... let her put her teddy bear to sleep at bedtime and tell her that if 'her baby' gets up during the night, she has to be quiet and has to put him back to sleep without doing too much noise! Make her feel important! Kids like it! Good Luck :)

Angela - posted on 06/24/2009

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If she sleeps at your parents but not at your house then there is something indeed wrong. What do you normally do when she wakes up in the night?

Lindsay - posted on 06/24/2009

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we trided dat and it doesn't work . she keeps shouting her longs out . we have also a boy of 8 that whant to sleep so i can't let het do that . Thx for your message .

Amy - posted on 06/23/2009

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try faking like your sleeping and dont acknowledge her to see if she goes back to bed or tell her its night time the time when people sleep so if u wake up ur not to wake anyone else or leave your room if she sleeps at your moms then she must do it because she can im not sure thats a tough one

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