What is the best way to get a 2 year old out of sleeping in your bed at night when you share a room?

Naomi - posted on 08/05/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My son will fall asleep on his own, but it is in my bed. We share a room, and I move him to his bed when I go to bed. The only problem with that is he either wakes up while I move him or some time during the night. When he sleeps with me though he moves alot which keeps me from getting sleep. So what is the best way to deal with this? Thanks for your help.

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Elizabeth - posted on 08/06/2009

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I had the same problem when my son and I were staying at my parents for a few months. His bed was in the same room as mine. I convinced him that he was a "big boy" with EVERYTHING he did. Then I told him that his Spongebob bed (his toddler bed) was his "big boy bed". Every night I would ask him "Are you a big boy?" He would say yes. Then I would ask, "where to big boys sleep?" He would say "Spongebob bed". I would then clap my ahnds and get him extra excited about being big enough to sleep in this special bed. You have to make them want it. He still occasionally got into my bed in the middle of the night, but the amount of times decreased drastically. Good luck!!

Tyea - posted on 08/06/2009

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To keep up with your child's energy level during the day you need a good night's sleep. You aren't getting it when your child is kicking you through the night. I definitely have experienced that. Both my children slept with me when they were younger. It just made things easier. However, in the long run, it wasn't a good idea. I'll admit, I loved them sleeping with me and it even made me feel more secure. But I knew they had to learn to sleep in their own bed. My boys had their own room so it was easier to make them sleep in their room. With you in the same room might be a little harder but will make your winding down night time pattern alot easier in the future if you stick to your guns and make your son sleep in his own bed.

Here's how I did it when my boys were 2 and 3 years old, I actually got the idea from watching "The Nanny" show on t.v. one day and thought it wouldn't work but tried it any way. The important parts are to have a night time ritual before bed, remain calm, and be consistent. This is so that your son will know when bed time is even before it happens. It can be taking a bath, brushing teeth, then reading a bed time story or what ever you prefer. I usually read my sons a story and we have a special night-night time kiss where we rub noses like butterfly kisses, give a normal kiss, and then a hug and its bed time. My oldest son, 9 years old now, still insists that we do this and if I forget he tells me "you forgot night night kisses." Then the hard part comes that usually lasts the first 2-3 nights but remember to be consistent. You put your son in his bed, if he isn't already, and you tell him "night, night." If he cries or throws a fit let him. If he stays in bed then go about your business and make sure not to say any thing to him at all. If you talk to him then that will encourage him to act out more or to get out of bed. Most likely, the first couple of nights he will get out of bed. If so, without saying any thing to him, put him back in bed. Then walk either out of the room or to your bed depending on whether you were going to bed or not. Both my sons would instantly get out of bed. If so, put them back in the bed without saying a word. Your son will soon get the idea. If he doesn't stay in his bed after putting him back in then sit beside his bed without saying a word and without looking at him. This is to show you mean business. He will probably still try to get out of bed. As horrible as it may seem, you may have to hold him in bed until he decides you aren't going to give up. I'm telling you, its most likely going to be a struggle the first night for sure. Once he's realized that he isn't going to get out of bed then move to your bed or the door way. Remember not to say any thing to him or look at him directly. Both are signs that he is getting your attention. The first night of this with my boys made me feel horrible and I felt saddened by their crying but I remained calm and was consistent and it all worked out. The second night was a little easier and the third was alot easier. Just remember to remain calm, no eye contact, and no speaking after you say good night to them. Not even a no or go back to bed. The first couple of nights, if he ends up getting out of bed, calmly put him back in it. Evaluate what your son is doing and based on his reaction, move further and further away from him a little each night. The first couple of nights took a hour or two before my sons fell asleep but after they got the idea that they were to sleep in their own beds and Mamma and Dadda were not budging then they went to sleep on their own with no protest. And it feels nice to be able to put your child to bed and know that you have a little time to yourself or are able to go to sleep yourself. Also, your helping your son develop into more confident, dependent person later in life. Remember to be consistent (don't give in, you can do it) and calm.

Kimberly - posted on 08/05/2009

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I had the same problem with my daughter after her dad and I divorced. Our pediatrcian suggested when you put them to bed close the bedroom door and tie a bell on the knob. When the child gets up the bell will ring alerting you and you put the child back to bed. This will probobly go on for a few nights but eventually they will get the message.

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