Work Vs Guilt

Erin - posted on 11/27/2008 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I need some advise, My little boy is nearly 11months and i wish to apply for a new job, full time hours, but i keep getting this guilty feeling even thinking about putting him in child care...If you ahve any thoughs let me know please i am confused... erin

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I went back to work almost immediately after the birth of both of my daughters. I did feel guilty after the first one, but I realize I needed adult interaction or I would go crazy. On top of that, I truly believe that it is important for my daughters to see their mother working on her career as well as having a family. It teaches them balance and also to go after what they truly want to do. I also believe that sending them off to daycare teaches them a bit of independence early.



My daughters are highly socialized (since they've been in daycare since age 3 months) and that is a benefit. I try to supplement their education at home if I feel they are lacking in certain areas. And sure I don't like the colds they bring home or sometimes they do stuff you wonder where they learned it from. But those are minor I think to them having a good time with their friends and seeing me as someone who can work and have a family.

Chrystal - posted on 11/28/2008

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I can totally sympathize with your feelings. I stayed home with my son until he was 10mths old, then went back to school fulltime, then with my daughter 6 years later, I stayed home with her until she was 17mths old. I had felt a lot of pressure to get on with things when my son was small and I didn't want to rush my time with daughter. After she had turned a year old, I became very restless. I spent lots of time going to playgroups and volunteering with her, but it didn't help with my money situation. While I enjoyed spending time with her, I also missed the paychecks and adult interactions. It didn't help that my daughter was absolutely miserable in her daycare. But, after awhile of just pushing on, things settled in and I do not regret my decision to get back into work.

If it helps at all, your son is at a great age to begin socializing with other kids. While you will feel guilty no matter what, it is absolutely something you can explain to him when he gets older-and he won't hold it against you! He will also have a great time at daycare-eventually-and even look forward to it. My sister's son, would ask her on the weekends if she could go to work so that he could see his friends at daycare. You just never know...Someone once told me that these things are harder on Mommy than they are on baby. Children are very versatile, adaptable little beings, try not to beat yourself up.

Donna - posted on 11/28/2008

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hi- i decided to go back to full time work when my little boy was 10 months. i did feel guilty putting him in a nursery (and still do at times) but i decided that the best thing for us in the long term would be for me to be earning money to support us and i could do that better by working full time than part-time as i had no family available to look after him for me. the thing that makes me feel less guilty about it now is seeing him making little friends and doing all these things he couldn't have done if i had stayed at home with me (messy play everyday, a large garden with play house etc to play in...) and i try to make weekends really count for us so end up spending more time quality time with him. don't know if that helps, but for me going back to full time work was good as my little one has developed so quickly since then and is very happy at the nursery i chose for him :)

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