Would you work two jobs and let your spouse or boyfriend stay home?

Rachel - posted on 05/08/2011 ( 33 moms have responded )

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My boyfriend and I were both laid off from our jobs the same day at the same time. So now we have realized I have more experience and can get a better paying job, but most jobs right now are part time. I am going to be getting 2 part time jobs to make enough money for our family. Also, he does not drive, so when he was working i had to take him, then drive home, wait for him to get done and go pick him up and go back home, so it is 2 times as much gas. My question would be, would you work 2 jobs and just let your spouse stay home?

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Ramatu - posted on 05/11/2011

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I think both of you should get part time jobs. Both should be involved in bringing in the bacon and taking care of the home. It helps in maintaining the self esteem of both partners. Further, normally women age faster than men - working two jobs with all the attendant hassles will turn you into an old woman and he'll have free time to get a young bird! Lol! You need to take care of yourself.

Desiree - posted on 05/09/2011

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It will only work if your boyfriend agrees to do the housework while you become the primary breadwinner. It's not easy at all being a stay-at-home dad, but with your circumstances, if your partner is willing then that could be the ideal situation for you, since you'll be able to get better paying jobs and you're the one who drives.
You really need to talk it over beforehand so he doesn't just stay at home, but will do the laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc and most importantly take care of the kid(s).

If he doesn't want to do that, then he'll better get a job too, one that he can walk to, or take public transport.
Even if both of you have part time jobs, he'd better contribute to something around the house.

My DH and I both work full time, we're lucky to live in the same neighborhood as my parents and my mum watches DS when we're at work. But still DH does his share, be it washing dirty dishes or doing the laundry together; doing chores together has made our relationship stronger and us less tired at the end of the day :)

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[deleted account]

No! I am currently working as a cocktail waitress and I have my own, (thankfully quite successful) online business. When I get home the baby is not fed, the house is not cleaned and I end doing all the feeding and bathing......at 10 pm at night! If my boyfriend would get a job I would be working solely from home.

Rhonda - posted on 05/18/2011

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as long as he does all the cooking & cleaning and etc...but if you have to go home and do that too...my answer would be no....

Taofia - posted on 05/17/2011

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In may case yes, my husband gave up his taxi business almost 4 years ago to be the stay at home dad while I worked. the fact that I am earning more without having to put in the hours that he would be doing to earn the same. also we have 9 children and the youngest 4 really needed one of us to stay home and because they are all boys and that is what he ordered he made the decision to stay home and do all the driving for the family. it works for us and once all of our children are at school or working then he will be able to get back out into the work force.

Sepellia - posted on 05/17/2011

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Hell no they get lazy I am the one that will sit at home. Try that it do not work with me

Wendy - posted on 05/17/2011

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If my job searches can up that I would be making more money than my spouse and we has small children, maybe he could be the stay at home dad and take care of the children. I do right now work two jobs and my husband works one. He is unable to work a second job as his primary job, may require him to work overtime and he does not ever know when that situation may arise. I would not work two jobs, if my husband was going to stay at home and do nothing. I do not think it would be fair to you, if you had to work and still take care of the kids, make dinner and take care of the house. Good Luck!

Leanne - posted on 05/16/2011

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I did for a time. When we had our first child. Like you, I was able to get a better paying job with far less hours than my husband would have to do. So it paid off for us by us having so much more family time together. We always had dinner together at night and weekends free, lots of holidays, etc. He was able to make dinner for us and we had lots of time together as a family. But most importantly, our kids had their dad home with them, and were not ever sent to child care. It worked for us, though I missed the kids terribly. I guess you just have to look at your circumstances and see what works best for you.

The only question I would have, is if your husband is home with kids, and there is an emergency, is he able to get them to care if he can't drive.

Joy - posted on 05/16/2011

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Yes I would if it is in the best interest of my family. It would also depend on whether he can handle baby well, ie. feed bathe change, keep safe. He would also have to cook, clean and do all the chores thathe would expect of me if I were the stay-at-home parent.

Veronica - posted on 05/16/2011

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Will he be the stay at home dad? Will he actually take care of your child, clean the house, do the laundry and cook all of the meals? If this is the case, yes let him stay home. You may want to consider having hime go to school at night to update his skills and take driving classes, if this is the reason he does not drive. Why doesn't he drive? There will be errands that he will need to do while he stays at home that will require hime to have a car. I wish you the best in this decison. I know times are hard for a lot of families, but if you can get two jobs and he can do all of the above, yes let him.

Jen - posted on 05/15/2011

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I would; only if my husband would clean. ;) He doesn't. I have worked full time before while he watched our two oldest when they were little. Everything worked out except the house was a disgusting mess. Plus some things he wasn't too good at; like bathing the kids or taking them to the park etc.



His domestic skills were lacking.



So I tried it; it didnt' work. If he suddenly changed into a very domesticated man who knew and liked cleaning and grew some common sense and knew when a kid needed a bath or their hair brushed...and that girls shouldnt' be dressed in boy clothes etc etc....I'd try it again.



But it aint going to happen in my situation. lol.



Good luck with your choice! I hope it works great for you.



Edit: Its not horrendous to have a baby girl dressed in boys clothes. Its just one example of many. lol. Nowadays if I work an earlier shift and getting ready for school is left up to my hubby..the girls end up looking like hobo's. He hasn't learnt yet. lol

[deleted account]

Yes I would without any hesitation. I really don't see it as an issue if the female parent can be the financial provider over the male parent. My son is school-aged now so it's a non-issue in our home. Thankfully, both of our full time jobs are quite stable and strong. But if there was ever an issue or concern where only I could be the primary breadwinner, I have no problem whatsoever with my husband staying home.

Medic - posted on 05/15/2011

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I did just that when my husband got home from overseas. We did it for 9 months and it was fantastic. He got amazing time with our son who hardly ever got to see him before he was 2.5. He did great with the housework and now that he works he appreciates what I do and helps out a ton....ok still does most of the cleaning.

Elizabeth - posted on 05/15/2011

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yes i would i pretty much worked most of the time when my hubby would stay home with the kids

Tarra - posted on 05/15/2011

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That is a shame Rachel, dont let anyone make you feel guilty for being a working mum, working mums are generelly happier & more patient with the kids.
I would suggest working out the finer details before commiting to this though, from experience, make sure you BOTH know what your in for. He has to take them to the park & on outings, not just sit at home ect.

Rachel - posted on 05/15/2011

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unfortuantely due to medical problems he can not get a license. i wish he could but he has tried a few times and it has not worked .

Tarra - posted on 05/15/2011

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So many people saying no! Why cant the woman be the bread winner & still be a mum??
My partner & I decided to do the switch when our second child was 1, because I could get a better paying job than he could, plus it gave him the daddy time & me some 'me' time.
One of the conditions was for my partner to do the house work that I did. Switch roles completely.
If it works for you go for it.
Tell him to go for his licence when he can though, he will need it for the kids.

Rachel - posted on 05/13/2011

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I help out when i have tim but would rather be spending time with my kids while they are little than worrying if my house is spotless

Bridget - posted on 05/13/2011

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I think you should let him stay home. there are alot more dads staying home now a days with their children. I am a stay at home mom and it is a 24 hour a day job which is very exhuasting i agree that he should do most of the housework but i think that you should definently help him out thats what me and my hubby do i do the majority of the housework but he does help me out

Laura - posted on 05/12/2011

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I absolutely would if had to. I make 4x more than my husband (I have a graduate degree), but he loves his job that is 32 hours per week. His job is 5 minutes from home and has huge flexibility. If our daughter is sick, he can stay home much more easily than I can. He is able to pick up our daughter after school, he goes grocery shopping for us and we splurge on a housekeeper every other week. I tend to do most of the cooking, but I make meals that will last us several days and we grill outside quite a lot in the summer. Working well for us so far!

Rachel - posted on 05/12/2011

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He cleans and takes care of the kids while i am at work. he even cooks too but i like to cook and cook while i am at home. It seems to be working for now.

Miriam - posted on 05/12/2011

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we both work full time and we both take care of our kids cook, clean and all that. he makes more $ than me we both have decent jobs. I dont think I would want to stay home, but I would if he made a lot more. I would not like to be the sole bread winner, but I would if that's what made sence for my family, but yes he would have to be a homemaker not just lay around and do nothing :+)

Sarah - posted on 05/11/2011

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This is tough, but I would say yes. My husband and I are currenlty transitioning to where he will work part time evenings so he can stay home with the kids. I have a full time JOB and I have started an at home business. I have done a lot of reading and if you need to earn money but don't want to sacrifice time with family the best thing to do is to leverage your time. This means not trading time for money! By getting involved in networking I am able to pull in extra money every month and only spend a couple of extra hours away from my two beautiful children. Soon I will be able to quit my 40 hour JOB and stay home with my kids working part time and making full time income. I am super excited and am loving my life!!!

Traci - posted on 05/11/2011

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I do. I have done so for the past 19 months. I made more money even before he was laid off. While I don't work two jobs, per say, I do work extra hours tutoring after school and on Saturdays. My husband doesn't sit at home doing nothing. He's taking care of our 2-year old, cooks, "cleans," and pays the bills. We are now getting into financial distress because of him not having found a high enough paying job and his unemployment not being high enough. I will say it is very stressful having the "breadwinner" role on your shoulders. However, you just have to get used to it.

April - posted on 05/11/2011

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Hello! I do exactly that right now. My husband is a stay at home dad. I work two part time jobs, 3 days a week at one and every other weekend at the other. My husband does not drive either due to the fact that he is legally blind. He can see well enough to look after the kids and house perfectly fine. I have a college education, but there just aren't full time jobs out there, so, that is why I work two part time jobs. When I am home after work and on my days off I do help out around the house and I spend as much time with the kids as I can, because I do miss them terribly when I am at work, especially my 14 month old (they are only little once!). This set up really works well for us. He is home to look after the house and baby, so we don't need to pay for daycare. I can work any schedule and don't have to worry about daycare hours, etc. I think more and more families are doing this.

Kelli - posted on 05/11/2011

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What makes sense to you? Would you be able to afford daycare if you both took on some kind of job? I am a little biased as I work full-time and I have a SAHD for a husband. He does all the cooking, cleaning, and childcare while I am at work and then in the evening we enjoy our children together. However, I realized long ago that I am a much better mother when I am working and not home with my little ones 24/7.....I would say if he is willing and you are up to it then give it a try.

[deleted account]

fine with me as long as he takes care of all the housework....ALL chores. I'll help when I can but having two jobs ain't that pretty, you can't keep up your energy the whole day after work then do chores.

Joy - posted on 05/10/2011

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i feel like every family has their own thing, if it works for your family then do it,my husband cant afford gas all the time therefore my job hunt gets put on hold a lot but he takes care of us.I mean we are a one car family,but two part time jobs can be a lot on one person so take care of yourself please...

Annacua - posted on 05/10/2011

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Yes ma'am, I sure would! As a matter of fact I have worked two full-time jobs, and a part-time hussle on the side. Now, both you and your spouse have to be prepared for the time you are going to be spending away from the home. Not just to focus on the money you'd be bringing in, and gas you'd be saving; but also how it affects your body, mood, attitude, and interaction with the rest of the household. At the time, my daughter was young enough that mommy and daddy could balance it out, but now she is 11yrs. And, I wouldn't dare think about doing that!!! Teenagers are super sneaky (even my pre-teen, when she thinks I'm not looking! Lol) Just make sure it's thoroghly discussed between the two of you, and all the kinks are worked out, because it could hurt other than help. Loving you in Christ, AnnacuaS.

Cerise - posted on 05/09/2011

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hell no me work two and him work none? so he can stay home and play d&d online all day????? My mother in law watches my kid most of the time when i work- and he wont even fill out applications. Maybe it would work for you but will he do the laundry every day keep the house clean for you cook all the meals for you? if not tell him to find a place to walk to...... or something. ya know?

Cerise - posted on 05/09/2011

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hell no me work two and him work none? so he can stay home and play d&d online all day????? My mother in law watches my kid most of the time when i work- and he wont even fill out applications. Maybe it would work for you but will he do the laundry every day keep the house clean for you cook all the meals for you? if not tell him to find a place to walk to...... or something. ya know?

Vanessa - posted on 05/08/2011

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I think the best thing would be for both of you to get a part time job. Of course, life is rarely so perfect. =)

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